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Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher

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VermontA teacher at a Vermont school faces charges of having an inappropriate relationship with a student.

Vermont State Police say Anitra Lahiri, 44, was arrested Tuesday following an investigation by DCF and police that began in November.

Authorities say the Bethlehem, New Hampshire, woman had sexual relations with one of her juvenile students at the Lyndon Institute this past spring.

Lahiri was charged with sexual exploitation of a minor and disseminating indecent material to a minor. She is due in Caledonia Superior Court later this month.

I don’t know, I suppose I could’ve left this one alone for now. There’s obviously not a lot to go on. By way of analogy, the Irish Rose spent the better part of Christmas break bingeing on The Great British Baking Show. And if I was being judged the way those flour-dusted Brits are, I could be accused of taking this one out of the Sex Scandal Teacher oven too soon.

But something about Anitra Lahiri speaks to me. Maybe it’s that free-spirited, crunchy, Vermont hippy MILF vibe she gives off. Something about her screams that she’d take you out to look to go leaf-peeping on a fall day in her Prius with the Bernie 2020 and COEXIST stickers on the bumper before stopping in a craft brewery for a Double IPA, then taking you home for some wild tantric sex on her artisan quilts while listening to Feist.

So I dug a little deeper. And while I didn’t find any more details about “sexual relations” and “disseminating indecent material” to one of her private school students, I did find something. This might be a bit of a stretch, but I’m assuming this is the same Anitra Lahiri who has a blog of her writings called “Under the Lotus Tree: Where I (Try to) Make Meaning of the Muck.” I make that assumption only because I’ve spent a lot of time in Vermont on vacations and never met an Antira Lahiri. But also because she mentions being a teacher in essays like “Thank you, and you and you.” where she says:

 I understand it when I stand before a room full of adolescents who perk up with excitement when we talk about literature … the meaning of life is quite simple. Here’s to Life.

Or this one, called “Raising a Boy in a Dirty World“:

The too-familiar image of an emaciated, lingerie-clad woman graced the back of the magazine I was reading this morning. I thought nothing of it until my son ran up to me exclaiming, “Big boobies! Big boobies!” … I quickly threw the magazine on the table, but he asked to see the boobies again. At first I said no, but he passionately persisted in wanting to see the boobies. The more I resisted, the more appealing the boobies became. … this woman’s body was not normal, that women in the real world wear clothes.

So yes, while perhaps Antira’s court case will get more interesting going forward, I’m glad I pulled it out of the metaphorical oven now. Because I am oddly fascinated. Extra credit will be available for sure.

The Grades:
Looks: By the standards of 44-year-old moms from Vermont with a fetish for heavy sweaters and literature? You’re damned right I would.
Grade: B

Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: Here’s where I have to be fair to all the sexual deviant teachers out there who make sure from the outset everyone knows they were boning their students in a school broom closet and texting them homemade porn. Scant details about “exploitation” and “indecent materials” aren’t going to cut it, regardless of how many references to standing in front of your students making them perk up with excitement and cute “boobies” stories you’ve written about.
Grade: C

Intangibles: I guess it’s easier to make meaning of the muck when you actually get down in it. Welcome to the Dirty World, Anitra.
Grade: A

Overall: B-.

Do you have someone you want to see graded? Tweet her to me @jerrythornton1 or email me at jerry@barstoolsports.com. Your service to the betterment of mankind will be its own reward.