Kirk Cameron Had The Worst Birthday Party Of All-Time

I have no idea when this picture was taken and regrettably, there is no way to find out when Kirk Cameron’s birthday is so I am going to assume that he had this party this morning at about 9:45am Eastern Time.

Can you imagine? Why sandwiches so fucking early? I mean, a breakfast birthday party is already weird and 9:45 is an odd time to get that thing going. If you’re going to have an early morning breakfast birthday party (EMBBP), you might as well have breakfast tacos or at least fucking donuts. As has been said over the course of many years, donuts are basically the birthday cake of the morning hours.

Sure, Subway sandwiches are delicious but they can get rather pricey. Lest we forget, Subway has gotten rid of their 5-dollar footlong deal so we are looking at at least 24 dollars worth of sandwiches. If it’s the Italian BMT, it might be worth it unless the fucking idiot artist slathers it with oil and whatnot. I hate a soggy sandwich and Kirk does too. If they put too much oil on there, it might just ruin his birthday more than that little bitch ass cake. Ole I Forgot Your Birthday So I Swung Into The Gas Station Bakery Head Ass Cake. Two candles? Off to the side of the cake? At least the room was private, I guess. That’s nice. They didnt stick the world’s worst birthday party in a joint conference room or a WeWork.

For shame.

Anyway, here’s the trailer for the Left Behind movie. It’s just as good now as it was the day it was released to widespread acclaim.