Should I Go On A Date With This Guy Or Bail Like I Normally Do
Just being honest, I’m probably going to bail.
It’s nothing personal. I am just not the kind of person who tends to actually go on dates. I like being asked out. I like talking to boys. I like all the stuff that sort of leads up to and surrounds dating, I just don’t love the actual dating aspect of it. I can think of so much I’d rather do with my time. Why can’t I just meet someone who wants to text me and have sex when I want to but otherwise completely leaves me alone? I mean, that’s not asking very much.
I know this is the opposite of a problem. Boo hoo, poor me, so many people ask me out and I don’t want to go, my life is soooooo hard. But it’s tough! I’m not ready for a relationship, but I don’t want to be alone, either. So I end up in all kinds of situations that are awful for everyone involved because I have no idea how to just say hey, I’m not looking for anything serious right now. My solution right now is just to completely ignore the dates and bail on a guy once he asks me out. It’s not elegant, it’s not exactly nice, but it’s nicer than going on the date and letting some poor dude catch feelings for me before I not-so-elegantly stomp all over those feelings.
See, I’m better than I used to be! Used to be, I didn’t realize what my pattern was, so I’d just ruin lives left and right. It wasn’t until I met a guy senior year of college who was best friends with my friend’s boyfriend and she wouldn’t let him have my number until I promised I wasn’t going to “ruin him”. I promised, absolutely perplexed why she would even imply such a thing, and then I went ahead and ruined him.
After that, I had to take a hard look at myself. I realized that when I wasn’t fully over someone, I would start something out of boredom (but convince myself I was actually into the guy) and once I realized I still had feelings for whichever ex, I would ghost the dude like he’d never existed. So, for the last month or so, whenever guys have asked me out I’ve said yes but then ended up canceling. Why put some unsuspecting innocent in the line of fire? I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do. Do you know how weird it would be to say hey, I can’t date right now but you’re still great? That just sounds like a cheesy line. I wouldn’t buy that if someone said it to me. Might as well ruin any shot of a relationship so I don’t have to deal with the collateral. See, It’s not my fault I’m pretty and interesting and guys want to date me, but it would be my fault if I let a boy like me knowing I was going to end up probably making him hate all women.
So. Do I go on this date, or do I bail?
(I’m probably going to bail)