Little house keeping first:
“You watch the Golden Globes?!” Yes, I do. I love Award Show Season and you’re a fool if you don’t. Back in the day Barstool used to RUN the awards shows. We’d spend like seven hours live-tweeting red carpets and the shows and post shows. We’d do live streams for them and recaps in the morning. I guess we don’t do that anymore, but I do.
“Who cares?! It’s just some stupid, made-up award!” Every award is some stupid, made-up award. We argue about MVPs, Coach of the Years, Gold Gloves, Cy Youngs, etc. I’ll debate any honor bestowed by any organization. Rick was the employee of the month at McDonalds? FUCK that, Jose made the shit out of my Big Mac.
“Bro football was on today.” Yes, that was a real response to a Golden Globes tweet. I’m used to other adults getting mad that I’m not watching what they’re watching, everyone at Barstool is, but this was next level. Football was on today. Not right now, not right now, today. Like when football ends you have to go hibernate until more football is on or some shit. It’s human nature to be intrigued by celebrity so when there’s a bunch of them in a room getting drunk you’re goddamn right I’m gonna tune in, I don’t care if there was football at some point since the sun came up.
Now that that’s out of the way: FUCK the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. I know the Golden Globes aren’t indicative of the Oscars or what was actually a great movie, but I’m getting mad about it anyway. Bohemian Rhapsody was by all accounts a bad movie that had some fun parts, and that’s fine. I like movies like that as much as anybody, I’m a huge Fast and the Furious guy, but you don’t see me clamoring for it to start winning prizes because I have a brain and know the difference between a truly good movie and a movie that was exciting (btw, Fast and the Furious is way more critically acclaimed than Bohemian Rhapsody and I’m dead serious).
I mean Bohemian Rhapsody had a SIXTY TWO PERCENT Rotten Tomatoes. Sixty two! Can you imagine saying, “This was the BEST movie of the year,” about a movie that barely half the people who saw it agreed was even a *good* movie? For the record: Fast 5 was a 77%, Fast 6 was 70%, Fast 7 was 80%, Fast 8 was 67%. The movie franchise that people love to laugh at and the people tell me I like ironically has put out movies that were either more or way more critically acclaimed than the “best” movie of the year. I’m not advocating for F&F to get awards, I’m just saying it’s insane a movie worse than it won the biggest one.
I had people telling me that A Star Is Born has been made before so it can’t win every time. First of all, it’s a completely different story than the other movies. It’s the same in title, not in writing, directing, acting, etc. Second of all, yes it can win every time. That’s like saying the best player in the league can’t win the MVP every year, if you’re the best player then you’re the best player. If you’re the best movie then you’re the best movie, and A Star Is Born was the best movie.
It wasn’t even just about the Best Picture category. Star didn’t win anything except song. Lady Gaga, a shoe in for the Oscar, lost to Glenn Close for a movie that absolutely no one even knew existed. I don’t even think Glenn Close did. She sure as hell didn’t know she was up for a nomination and if you don’t believe me look at her face when she won:
Almost put the poor woman in her grave for god’s sake.
Best actor? Not Bradley Cooper. Not the guy who learned to play the guitar and sing over three years and put on the performance of his life. You think he was surprised and upset?
Of course he was, because he deserved to win!
I don’t ask for much in this world, but I do ask that people who vote on movies at least watch the movies or have a brain. I know my anger is silly, I know I’m probably overreacting, I’ll probably forget about it by tomorrow, but right now it’s bullshit and you’re gonna hear about it. Fuck the Hollywood Foreign Press.
PS – I did love this commercial playing on NBC about 5 minutes after the Globes ended. I can just picture media agencies calling up the network and screaming “PLAY THE COMMERCIAL! YOU KNOW WHAT ONE! REMIND THEM WHO THE FUCK WE ARE!!!” and you won’t convince me that’s not exactly what happened.