The Internet Trying To Paint Michael Jordan Out As Humble Is A Wild Start To 2019

I know some days it seems like Barstool Sports Dot Com is the only place on the world wide web that hates LeBron James, but I’m here to tell you that simply is not the case. Turns out the most popular American athlete of his generation has detractors coast to coast. I know, I was shocked, too. And hate often drives people to think completely irrational thoughts about even the most benign subject matters. So when LeBron came out and declared himself the GOAT it causes people to completely rewrite history and pretend that MICHAEL JEFFREY JORDAN was a humble human being. Which is quite possibly the most preposterous take ever typed into Al Gore’s internet.

I’m trying to picture the reaction if LeBron said he was “Really good but couldn’t say for sure if he was as good as Magic because they didn’t get to play against one another and eras are different.” People would blast him and rightfully so. Because that answer fucking stinks. If MJ is too afraid to say he’s the GOAT then maybe we shouldn’t be considering him for the title. Give it to Bill Russell, he’ll tell you who the GOAT is while brandishing a vintage pistol on a regional flight. The reason these calculated-ass, respect for the game answers from Jordan truly stink is because they’re so wildly out of character for him.

One of Jordan’s most endearing characteristics is that he was a ruthless shit talker to anyone and every one who crossed his path – competitors, teammates, the next generation, his children for stinking at basketball, people so very clearly not in his league it was weird he was even talking to them in the first place. There was nothing humble about that guy. Kobe was the same way. And while LeBron doesn’t have the same stories about punching teammates in the face or running the most dominant big man of all time out of town, he hasn’t been humble either. There was that time he lost the Finals and called everyone in the country poor. There was that time he was a teenager who had yet to even play an NBA game and called himself King James with a giant “Chosen One” tattoo across his back. None of these all time greats are humble, that’s why they’re fucking great. Jerry Rice has a tattoo of a goddamn goat on his arm and will rattle off his stats just because he can.

And it’s okay to hate LeBron. People hate people every single day, no reason too small. But let’s not act like Michael Jordan is some paradigm of humility to do so. He wasn’t exactly Andrew Luck helping up a defender who just sacked him when he permanently broke Muggsy Bogues’ brain.

“Johnny said physically Jordan and Pippen were about the same as defenders. But when you add in MJ’s ruthlessness and trash talk, that put him ahead of Scottie. When Johnny was coaching with the Hornets in 1995 they had a good team. Glen Rice, Mourning, Johnson. Series was tied at 2 and Hornets had a chance to win game 5 in Chicago. On the biggest possession of the game, Mugsy [sic] had the ball with the Hornets down 1. Jordan backed off of him and told him: ‘shoot it you f***ing midget.’ Mugsy shot it, didn’t come close. A year later Mugsy actually told Johnny Bach that he believes that single play ruined his career. His shot never recovered.”

Or when he drove OJ Mayo, one of the most highly touted high school prospects of the 21st Century, to a life filled with doubt the likes of which he’s yet to recover.

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Or when he conned Charles Barkley into thinking they were friends during the NBA Finals.

The day before game 4 of the Bulls Suns finals with the Bulls leading the series 2-1. Michael and Charles Barkley went golfing. They played 48 holes of golf. And Michael bought Charles a $20,000 diamond earring. Johnny asked MJ, “what did you do all that for?” Michael responded, “he won’t get in my way the rest of the series, what’s $20,000 to me? Charles thinks we’re great friends. I hate that fat f—.” Jordan dropped 55 in game 4 and Barkley never touched him once.

Or the time he was, yanno, inducted to the Hall of Fame.

Michael Jordan was a lot of things, humble just aint one of them. Why you’d want him, or LeBron, to be humble is beyond me. Humble people are boring as hell. Imagine McGregor trying to hype up a fight by respecting his opponent? P U. Deion Sanders not high stepping for 50 yards during a pick-6? No thank you. The best basketball player of his era not thinking he was the greatest of all time? Yeah I’ll pass on that.