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ReCapping An All Gas No Brakes Chicago Bears Victory Monday

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We’ve been going absolutely fucking bananas at Red Line Radio HQ since the Bears clinched the division yesterday and there really is no slowing down on our end. We have a saying ALL GAS NO BRAKES that simply means what it says. Peddle to the goddamn metal without hesitation. All Gas No Brakes.

Everything about this 2018 Chicago Bears team has been a walking example of what it means to be AGNB. We got trick plays and two point conversions, power QB sweeps on the goalline and MULTIPLE fat guy touchdowns. We got the best defense in the league, All Pros at several positions and special teams unit that keeps the lights on when everyone else is home sleeping. Like I said. And you can say it with me: All Gas. No Brakes.

That said, let’s get to some of the highlights from what’s been a whirlwind Victory Monday:

Gooooooood Morning from Anthony Miller. Not a bad way to start the day.

Someone stole a chair yesterday – which reminds me of the time I tried to steal a neon bar sign at age 18 but broke it instead and got *charged* with a Class 4 felony. Obviously that got pleaded to a misdemeanor after hiring the former local DA to “take my case” but I digress. Point is this guy will always have the seat back from a top Bears game forever. That’s nice, but probably not worth the related lifetime ban.

Clubs Dub is so absurd that I’m surprised some local night life entrepreneur hasn’t launched a Club Dub in River North. I hate that scene as much as any normal non-douche Chicago guy. But I can guarantee you that spot would blow up quick. Everyone wants a piece of Club Dub and it’s sincerely no surprise. This is the best party on the planet right now and it’s taking place in our goddamn locker room.

The Bears dropped a hype vid this morning and that sound you hear is 53 guys dragging their balls all over the internet. The Bears just logged – arguably – one of the most monumental home Wins in recent franchise history and here they are morning after telling the NFL that they’re all fucked. All of ‘em.

Jeff Joniak Fucks and that’s a fact. By far AND AWAY the best radio guy of my lifetime. I love you Joniak. You know that.

Every Time The Bears Sacked the Packers – Yeah yeah yeah I already blogged this fuck off. This is hotter than hot. There’s no amount of excessive celebration you can flag me for with this video. I cannot say this enough: f u c k  Aaron Rodgers.

The Tribune’s lead photo of Aaron Rodgers dying yesterday has been summarily awarded the 2018 Pulitzer for Sports News Photography. It’s the first Pulitzer award to be simultaneously categorized as hardcore BDSM pornography. Either way it’s a real gangbang.