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Joakim Noah Said The Reason He Sucked As A Knick Is Because He Was "Too Lit" In New York


NYDN- Joakim Noah was undone by partying in New York City. The center made that startling admission two months after he was released by the Knicks, ending a colossally disappointing stint after signing a $72 million contract. “I can look back at it and say I was ready for New York City, but I wasn’t,” Noah said on the ‘Chris Vernon Show’ from Memphis, where the center signed recently for the remainder of the season. “Not just the pressure. I remember after the first game I had 60 people in my house. I’m too lit to play in New York City. Memphis is perfect for me.”

Noah’s partying was well known and young players, including fellow Frenchman Frank Ntilikina, were told not to go out with him, according to a source. Asked if he also partied during his much more successful stint in Chicago, Noah said, “We were lit in Chicago but I was young so you recover faster.”

I want to be mad at Joakim Noah for wasting my time as a Knicks fan and $72 million of my team’s cap space. But to be honest, I can’t. Dude completely owned the reason he was somehow even worse than anybody could have imagined when he signed that deal, which is saying something because countless people called it one of the worst contracts ever the minute terms of the contract were announced via Woj Bomb. Joakim Noah went back to the place he grew up and simply got too lit. Lit af. Or even Litty City as the kids say*. Tale as old as time.

*They probably don’t say that

I imagine Phil Jackson was so in love with a player that shared some of the same basketball beliefs and more importantly some of the same hippie beliefs that he didn’t even to think about how lit a single guy like Noah may get in a city that never sleeps with a shitload of James Dolan’s money in his bank account. Granted, anybody with a functioning brain probably would have been worried about that as well as Noah constantly breaking down in Chicago could lead to him more worried about party and bullshit than basketball. But not Phillip!

However, can you think of a better guy for the Zen Master to sign than this?

Seriously, how’s it goink? What a fucking disaster from the jump. Now to be fair to Phil, he actually may not have seen this coming because he doesn’t know what the fuck the word “lit” means and was clearly living the opposite of that Lit Life during his time as Knicks president.


Also a sincere thank you to whoever in the Knicks organization forbid Frankie Smokes from hanging out with Noah. Imagine a young, impressionable French kid coming to America and being introduced to America by living the Club Dave Experience? Instant bust.