Jim Halpert Is A Gigantic Loser
So I was watching The Office yet again yesterday and the episode ‘E-mail Surveillance’ was on. Not a bad episode of course, but it reminded me of something. Jim Halpert is a gigantic loser and quite possibly a bully.
First off, three cases of beer? Listen, you’re an adult. If you’re having a party and inviting people over you cover the alcohol unless it’s brought up for people to bring their own. But, based on the context of the episode this is strictly a party that Jim is throwing to parade Dwight around his roommate. So therefore Jim should be supplying the beer.
I mean he does say the three key ingredients to a good party is 3 cases of imported beer, karaoke and no Michael.
Also, of course Jim is a beer snob. Sure, imported beer is good, but at a party you need a little bit of everything. Throw in some light beer there Jim. Learn how to be a host. Speaking of when he’s a host he starts the party off by giving a tour of his apartment. No one gives a shit about your apartment, Jim. You live in Scranton, Pennsylvania. Especially when you announce it as a ‘group tour’ and take it seriously. Plus, don’t show off your roommate’s bedroom. That’s weird, Jim. You loser.
As much as I hate bringing up Pam here, we have to. How about Jim – you know the host of this wonderful party – just sitting in his bedroom with Pam looking through a yearbook? Perhaps you should be entertaining your guests and making sure everything is okay downstairs. But, that’s about right for a guy who picks Pam over Karen and even Katie.
Oh, who am I kidding? I have plenty of time. This week sucks for college basketball games. So let’s extend this blog to more times that Jim Halpert is a gigantic fucking loser.
He Buys His Parents House
Hey Peter Pan, grow up. Who the hell wants to buy their parents house? A loser that’s who. It just shows what we all know about Jim. He refuses to expand his horizons. He bitches and moans about Dunder Mifflin for years before finally leaving. He saves up all this money to surprise Pam with a gift of a house and he buys his childhood home. You have to be pretty fucked up in the head to buy a house and expect to sleep in your parents old room. I can’t even decide what’s weirder sleeping in your parents room or turning your childhood room into your marital bedroom.
He thinks the jello prank is so hilarious he does it twice
Everyone knows Office Space is a great movie. But, Jim, calm down man. This is the guy who thinks pulling a ‘prank’ on co-workers is absolutely hilarious. Not only that but he does the same thing twice. He has no uniqueness here. If you’re going to pull pranks on co-workers at least mix it up.
He was going to propose at a work party
I’m sorry, but what? The guy who bitches about Dunder Mifflin nonstop was going to propose at a work party? This guy stinks. When you propose you should be doing it somewhere cool and somewhere that isn’t a place you hate. Jim hates Dunder Mifflin. But, of course the worst couple in the show would be thrilled to get engaged at work.
He willingly starts the worst ice breaker ‘game’ ever
During ‘The Fire’ episode Jim decides he has a great idea. The idea is to get all of his co-workers around and play ‘would you rather, desert island and who would you do?’ First off, does Jim not understand boundaries. You’re asking co-workers who would they do. That seems like a sexual harassment charge waiting to happen. But, of course Jim thinks this. He has no social clues and has no idea how to act. This is something your dumbass teacher does in 101 classes in college. You have no desire to sit there and do those stupid icebreakers. But, oh, Jim does. Jim prefers to do these.
He cancels plans with friends to hang out with an engaged co-worker
Think about this for a second. You have a friend. You and your buddies have plans that night to hang out. You get a call from said friend that he has to bail. Imagine hearing that the reason for bailing being that he’s going to sit at work on a rooftop with an engaged co-worker so he can try to make a move. He even gets as creepy as telling Pam that it was their first date. Man, just be normal.
He convinces Pam to cheat, can’t stand up for himself and needs the guy he picks on to save him
Oh, so you make a move on the engaged co-worker mentioned before and then can’t even defend yourself? I mean there are rules in this world, Jim. If you’re going to cheat with another man’s fiancee be prepared for a fight. Not only that but he has the guy that he bullies save him. That’s just pathetic. I’m not saying that every guy should know how to fight or anything like that. But, you should know how to at least defend yourself. Maybe you get your ass beat and Jim likely would. But perhaps you block a punch. Get a jab in yourself. The last thing that can happen is the guy you pick on being the one that saves you.
He marries Pam
The one person that’s for sure worse than Jim? Pam. So naturally that is who he marries. He leaves Karen, who is not only better looking, a better personality, cooler and does more professionally, but is just flat out better in every way possible. He plays soccer with a kid before the wedding? That’s not what you do before a wedding. Anyone who has been married the moment that tux is on you sit around with your friends, have a drink and bullshit back and forth. You don’t kick a soccer ball around with some kid. But, then again, Jim would have to have friends in order to do that.
You know who isn’t a loser? Kevin, especially when it comes to karaoke. That dude has pipes. This has been your weekly Office blog.