New Year's Eve Is Dumb But I Still Want A New Year's Kiss
Every year, millions of people around the world get excited for New Year’s Eve. I’m a corny bitch, so you would think I was one of them, but that’s not the case. New Year’s has all the hallmarks of an over-hyped holiday. It’s a drinking holiday, so it should be fun, but it isn’t. Everyone gets overly excited about… staying up til midnight? Like we’re not out til 4am every weekend? I get the significance of the year ending, and starting anew is fun and fresh and exciting, but I’ve never really had that much fun on New Year’s Eve.
December 31st rolls around and every year I want to have the kind of night you see in TV shows, even though I know exactly what’s going to happen. It’s one of two nights. We start drinking at 7pm and go to a house party and someone passes out before midnight. That, or we spend $50 on a wristband to a bar that’s so packed you can’t even get a drink, everyone’s miserable, and you get nasty free champagne at midnight. But every year I do it, because I am holding out hope for one very special thing: the elusive New Year’s Kiss.
The fantasy goes that you’re out at a bar or wherever you happen to be, and in he walks: the man of your dreams. Maybe he’s a handsome stranger. Maybe he’s your third grade crush. Maybe he’s the guy you sit across from on the train every day. He walks in, and you lock eyes, and suddenly the countdown begins: 1 minute to midnight. You find your way to each other and the room counts down the final ten seconds. 3…2…1… and then, you kiss. It’s perfect. It’s everything you’ve always wanted to say in one moment.
Every year I think this is going to happen to me! And every year I end up kissing one of my friends instead.
It’s very anticlimactic. Maybe one day I’ll just boycott New Year’s all together, but I can’t help but dream that this year… this is the one. This is the time. This is my high school musical Troy and Gabriella karaoke and chill moment. This year. But God knows it’s gonna be the same old shit again, because I’m going to die alone, and I’m fine with that.