NC - A North Carolina man was arrested on Saturday after police say he sat in a booth at a Rock Hill Waffle House without his trousers and later struck up a conversation with two patrons about his private parts. At about 2am, a Rock Hill police officer working overtime at the Waffle House noticed Ryan Christopher Smallwood, 26, of Fayetteville sitting in a booth, “flipping the bird” at a restaurant customer. Smallwood’s trousers were dropped to his ankles, the officer reported, though he still had his boxers up around his waist.The officer ordered Smallwood to pull up his trousers, warning him that any further inappropriate behaviour would result in police asking him to leave the Waffle House. Smallwood pulled his trousers back up and the officer walked back across the restaurant. Not much time later, the officer overheard Smallwood bragging about his private parts to two other people sitting at the bar.
How about Waffle House coming in hot in the name of class? Move over Four Seasons. Nothing says fancy like being able to sit at a booth flipping everyone off with your pants around the ankles and STILL not being asked to leave. If only Smallwood had whipped it out and started helicoptering the whipped cream on top of his waffles he’d be the customer of the century.
If nothing good ever happens after 2am then multiply that by a trillion when you’re at a breakfast place at any other time than breakfast hours. The two people sitting at the bar were probably enjoying a pleasant nightcap of pancakes and whiskey pondering at what point their life went wrong that they’re drinking at a Waffle House at 2am. Little did they know they would be confronted by a pantsless dude named Smallwood who felt the need to defend the honor of his dick. In everyone’s defense they were most likely distracted by the shark teeth to notice anything South of the border. Tinycock’s got a snaggle tooth even Steve Buschemi would be embarrassed about.
PS – Waffle House serves alcohol??? I’m not even mad, I’m impressed.
PPS – Fuck yeah it’s a reblog. Feel free to vent about that.