Full Replay | The Dozen Live Championship from ChicagoWATCH NOW

Men With Beards Are More Attractive Than Clean Shaven Little Bitch Boys, Says Science

Screen Shot 2018-11-15 at 10.18.04 AM

Men who have full beards are seen as more attractive than men who have just a light stubble, according to the results of a new study.

Researchers found the widely-celebrated attractiveness of bearded stars like Jamie Dornan, Jake Gyllenhaal and Chris Hemsworth is apparently no coincidence.

As part of the experiment, male subjects were photographed clean shaven, five days after shaving, 10 days and then after a whole four weeks without shaving.

Some 8,500 women were asked to rate the men on their attractiveness as a long-term romantic partner.

Heavy stubble (10 days) was found most attractive, while full beards grown over four weeks came second.

Light stubble was considered third-best, while cleanly shaven men were ranked least attractive.

I hate to even post this blog because it might look like I’m making this about me. I’m not. I think most men are more attractive with beards because it covers most of our faces. If you look at the human male face like the globe, the hair should be like water. 60 percent or so of the man face should be covered with hair.

Granted, you want the hair to look nice. Sometimes, and this is difficult for me to admit, but my beard looks like someone shaved their ginger dick after a long winter in the Alaskan wilderness and gorilla glued their pubes to my face. While still an improvement over my unshaven face, I recognize that having pube chin is still an improvement over what is sure to be a double turkey neck underneath my hair.

I disagree with the ladies surveyed on one matter. The 3-day shave isnt that great. In fact, that short of hair is the highway you wanna take if you want your vulva which, once again, is the entire pussy, to be irritated after cunnilingus. That bad boy will be rashed up. Now, you can combat that by growing out your own pubes. Pube lube is what I call it, and lately, if the front page of porn hub is any indication, the lady bush is making a big comeback. Women in 2018 are gonna look like they have Ben Wallace in a head scissors and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Screen Shot 2018-11-15 at 10.26.33 AM