I know that this is a story where people are just goofin and it’s not real but things like this could actually happen right? You could walk down the street and see some dickhead paying 50 dollars a day for one of these desks in the middle of an intersection.
If you do, you will have cum on your back and on your pants. No question about that in my mind. It’s not if. It’s when and how much. 20ml? 50ml? A gallon? Who knows. I stink at fluid measurement scales. It’s confusing. The metric system is confusing because of my American education. Anyway, there will be old piss on your jeans, you’ll need a 55-gallon bucket of hand sanitizer, and you wont be able to hear anything. You will however feel Homeless Harold’s Daily Deposit thud onto your back. You wont mind though. It’s 11:30am after all and people are creatures of habit.
You see, Homeless Harold has beaten the every loving dogshit out of his dick for years right at this very spot on 51st and Lexington. When Verizon stopped using payphones, men from all over flocked to these vessels of yesteryear to do their deeds. Those deeds are not just poop stuff, which I wont mention. The fellas also need to release the poison that is stored deep inside their balls right next to the piss.
If that release happens on your WeWork station, so be it. If it happens on your back or in your hair, so be it. Folks, that’s just city livin.