Nice Earrings, Dickhead: Yves Saint Laurent Selling Pricey Dong Jewelry

I was scrolling Twitter yesterday & came across our own Jourdyn Berry‘s phalic tweet. Only moments later I got a text from my dad who’d clearly stumbled upon it, too. Not surprising since he’s up on all things fashion (his favorite shorts are from Costco & he loves those massive “Cocoons Brand” sunglasses from CVS). (Love you dad.)

Even this morning I’m still getting tagged in this jewelry by various people so I might as well write about it.. kind of like last year when everyone kept hitting me up with the ‘hairy lady one-piece’ saying it made them think of me. Ouch.

Back to the earrings & necklace… Most importantly they say “Saint Laurent” where the veins usually go so people know you have the kind of money where you don’t mind getting shafted on tiny brass & gold wearable dicks. It’s $280 for the earrings (at $140 per cock) & $675 per necklace and I wanted to say nobody would pay that kind of money for these but it turns out I’m a big dummy because they’re already sold out.

So obviously this is the next big trend & now I want to get on board but I can’t afford it.

But wait!

Cue basic gal’s Yves Saint Laurent:

::Grabs credit card, pauses::

Let me just check with my husband first:

Damn. He’s right. Got enough of these already.