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Some Awful, Awful Lady Threw Herself A Birthday Party On The J Train

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Source - It may not have a Michelin star, but a subway car was a good enough venue for one California woman to celebrate her birthday.

Amber Asaly, her cousin and several other friends were pictured using a J train car line for an impromptu birthday dinner after reservations at a restaurant fell through, she told The Post.

The group boarded the subway at the Myrtle-Broadway stop in Brooklyn at about 10:30 p.m. Wednesday. They assembled a table, hung up streamers and even strung up a piñata, Asaly said.

“Each friend collectively grabbed a bag,” she said of how they got all the festive knick-knacks on the train. “Then we installed the table on the train.”

I audibly gasped when I came across the headline this morning. A woman. Set up tables. On the (J, puke) train. And threw herself a birthday party. I actually thought it was a joke until I read the article. It’s like my brain wasn’t allowing me to comprehend that humans could be that stupid because it didn’t want me to get upset. Look at this shit.

…on a mass transit system known more for dining rats, the group dined on lobster, spaghetti and drank bottles of white wine.

“We all dressed up. We made it like a Michelin-starred restaurant. That was kind of the whole point,” said Asaly, who turned 26 on Wednesday.

Asaly, a Los Angeles-based photographer, added that the straphangers who shared the subway car either ignored them or snapped photos of the party as they smashed a piñata and at their dinner.

“They were just sitting there, not saying anything,” she said.

She claimed that an MTA worker saw them and let them continue riding. The MTA could not immediately be reached for comment.

I’m not going to rip her as hard as I did the “Subway Wizard“, but I will say this: fuck you, Amber. Take your Instagram, hipster, “look at me I’m cute” birthday party and shove it up your **shhhh, shut-cho mouth.** I wish someone had flipped the table. It’s the only way people like her will learn that people like us ride the subway not because we want to, but because we have to. (Did I just become a common man?) It’s an unfortunate fact of life and one that Instagram models and LARP-loving man-children fail to understand. It’s going to take someone losing their shit for people like Amber to get that.

So for those of you reading this blog who may or may not be thinking about pulling a stunt like this– don’t. It’s only a matter of time until someone overreacts and causes a scene. Hopefully it won’t be me, but no promises.