A Botched Surgery Left This Woman With Flatulating Breasts

A mother was left with one “farting boob” after the boob job her ex-boyfriend suggested she had gone very wrong.

Ex-model Emily Nolan had breast implants put when she was 23-years-old to please her boyfriend at the time who told her that “real women have boobs”.

At the time, Emily wasn’t overly happy about going under the knife for the procedure but she wanted to do it to make her boyfriend happy.

Now 32, Emily tolerated years of pain in her shoulders and neck as a result of her 36DD boobs, as well as dealing with embarrassing fart-like noises coming out from them whenever she would raise her arms.

Classic case of fart tit. Are we still saying tits in 2018? Is that offensive? Anyway, I’ve seen fart tits hundreds of times in my research. One minute your breasts are gas free, the next minute, your boobies sound like a whoopie cushion after tacos. Taco Bell? More like yo quiero boobie smells. Sad.

“Chaps. Chaps. Real quick. I dont think that a boob can actually fart though. Flatulence, lest we forget, is the process or processes of expelling intestinal gas through the anus. The breasts do not contain an anus.”

That’s true. I think it was in reference to the sound but that’s certainly a good point. Thank you.

Anyway, fart tits aren’t what this story should be about. In fact, I’d say writing a headline that uses the words “fart tit” is unseemly and would only be used to create ballyhoo. Unprofessional. This story should be about the dangers of plastic surgery but that goes without saying.

Lots of people on the internet are causing a stir that I need a breast reduction because and I’m quoting here, “Your tits look like two trash bags filled with old pancake batter.” Now, that’s hurtful. Are my tits a little more juicy than I’d like? Of course. It comes with the territory of weight gain though. I’m trying to lose a couple of pounds because I’m sick of random passersby trying to milk me. My breasts dont have milk in them! Leave me be!