Who needs Prozac when you’ve got Philadelphia sports? Will never not make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. This right here isn’t too shabby for a team almost in last place. Sure, Chase Utley is having the best 2 weeks of his career, but how about the play from our top 3 paid players? Cole Hamels is absolutely lighting up the DL this year. Cliff Lee has a lovely 1.667 WHIP and got spanked around in 2 of his 3 starts. Ryan Howard? A .224 average with a couple of solo shots while complaining about the fans being pissed the Phils already giving away numerous games this year. Give him credit though, The Big Piece almost went for the coveted Golden Sombrero yesterday. One of the K’s was on 4 straight fastballs with the bases juiced. The definition of clutch.
Also, there will be no greater joy in the hearts of many when Floyd Maywhether goes broke. It’s inevitable after he’s hung up the mitts. Anyone who keeps his entire $100+ million fortune in a single bank account has no justification for the value of a dollar. Will be an Antoine Walker decline the likes of which the world will never see. Guy already makes Brewster’s Millions look like it’s controlled by Pres’s purse strings.
Double also, fuck Matt Stafford. That overrated, side-armed, fat-faced, piece of dick should allow every one of his fantasy owners to have a run at the smokestack he owns. Some train time amongst us first round investors two years ago is the only way to make up for going from 40+ td’s in a season to 20 in the next.