The Giants Are Officially In Fire Sale Mode As They Trade Snacks Harrison To The Lions

So after yesterday’s trade of Eli Apple and today’s trade of Snacks Harrison, it looks like the fire sale is officially on! Do I have any takers for Nate Solder? Alec Ogletree? How about a mystery two-time, Two-Time, TWO-TIME Super Bowl MVP quarterback who had numbers like this as recently as three seasons ago!

Shit.

I actually found out about this Snacks trade that came out of the fucking blue as I was driving my kids to daycare while my 6-month old was SCREAMING like a maniac. I pulled over to scream back at him see what was wrong before checking my phone because I am addicted to Twitter and wanted to start crying myself. It’s almost like my son knew Snacks was gone and was throwing a hissy fit or at least wanted make sure I was already in a dark place before finding out my beloved Snacks was gone. And make no mistake about it, losing Snacks hurts a lot. He was a goddamn beast at stopping the run, seemed like a good dude off the field, and his goddamn Twitter handle is @Snacks. If there is a guy I wish the Giants could have kept during this much needed rebuild, it was Damon Harrison. But after starting 1-6 for the second season in a row, Dave Gettleman has clearly decided to blow up the mess that Jerry Reese left him, which includes moving both fan favorites (Harrison) and fan unfavorites (Eli Apple).

Now people are going to lose their mind that the Giants only got a 5th round pick for a guy that was a first team All-Pro two seasons ago while the Raiders got a first rounder for Amari fucking Cooper and the Giants got a 4th and a 7th for Apple. I get that. But I also understand that trading a run-stuffing defensive tackle with a $9.6 million cap hit this year and $19 million cap hit over the next two years isn’t easy, especially in-season. I have to trust that Dave Gettleman got what he could as he moves along in the rebuild that Giants fans seem to be ready for, even if he clearly miscalculated how good this team would be this season. Actually trust isn’t the right word. I have to hope that Gettleman knows what he is doing because Snacks’ run as a Giant ending abruptly like Snackin’ Off’s run hurts a lot. And in case Dave Gettleman blowing up my team wasn’t enough, my mother-in-law dropped this A-bomb on my head from the fucking clouds.

It looks like Landon Collins isn’t taking the news great either.

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#Brrrrrrooooo indeed, Landon. #Brrrrrrooooo indeed. Maybe we can get something for Janoris Jenkins at least? Or maybe we can trade Olivier Vernon and his gigantic contract to the Raiders for their 100 first round picks since Jon Gruden seems to realize that rushing the passer is actually hard.

The one bright side to all this is that Snacks is now a Detroit Lion. Yeah that’s not usually something you hear, but I have absolutely no problem wishing the Lions well with Snacks. You have to be a real dick to hate the Lions. In fact I hope Snacks becomes best friends with Superfan and Detroit Don. Good luck to the other 3 NFC North teams looking to establish the run during division games with Snacks in the middle of that Lions line while Superfan and Detroit Don are screaming their asses off from the stands. I can actually see a scenario where Snacks balls the fuck out on Thanksgiving, leading to him eating turkey on the field and giving a drumstick to Superfan and Don. If you can’t see that silver lining as a Giants fan, your football soul has truly been destroyed (I’m not judging by the way, these last few seasons have done a number on all of us).

Okay maybe it isn’t all bad news out there.

P.S. I love that Rapsheet scooped Schefter by two full minutes. My rebuke of Schefty is clearly in his head.