This Robot That Can Unload The Dishwasher, Pick Up Toys, And Put Things Back Where They Belong Needs To Be Invented Tomorrow

WSJ- A startup that has drawn investment from Toyota Motor Corp. showed off a robot that can pick up toys and clothes off the floor and put them in their proper places. Tokyo-based Preferred Networks Inc. said it plans to sell robots that could handle tidying up and other household tasks such as receiving packages and putting dirty plates into the dishwasher. It didn’t say when, however, meaning children still likely have years of chores ahead of them.

At a technology exhibition here Monday, the company demonstrated a robot that picked up pens and put them in a holder all in the same direction. It also followed verbal instructions from a person and put a towel into a trash can instead of a laundry bag when told to do so. The robot sees objects through built-in cameras and uses machine learning to identify them and decide what to do with them. Over time, as it wanders around the house, it makes an inventory of household possessions. According to the company, people can use it as a literal search engine—seeking real objects instead of information. “In other words, a child would no longer need to wait for his mother’s return to ask where in the room she has put a toy,” said Yuya Unno, a Preferred Networks manager. The company also showed a video of the robot cleaning up scattered toys, socks and other items and putting them in separate boxes.

There are not many things in 2018 that surprise me anymore. I don’t know if it’s because technology continues to evolve like Neo in The Matrix or because all the nonsense from the world has injected novocaine into my soul. But watching these robots do all the shitty chores that require jussssst a little more effort than lazy people has got the blood flowing to all the right places. I have been dreaming of a robot that will do every non-sexual thing my tired heart desires ever since Rocky gave Paulie that giant asshole of a machine in Rocky IV.

Think of the amount of people’s lives these robots will save will save. No I’m not talking about the inevitable war vs. the machines that Boston Dynamics keeps building towards. These robots will definitely be double agents in that war and murder us the second they have the chance. I’m talking about the war in the household. Shitty kids that won’t pick up their toys vs. Their dickhead parents that break down and clean up their toys because they are sick of their house looking like a cluttered mess. Husbands vs. Wives playing a game of chicken over who will empty the dishwasher first. Shitty roommates that don’t bring the mail inside. All of those small battles that lead to epic wars will be gone. Divorce rates will plummet, drinking diseases amongst parents will too. Even the real estate prices should balance out since nobody is willing to pack their shit up and go through the hell of a move just to get the fuck away from their aloof roommate. I don’t know what Toyota is doing outside of designing the new Camry or understand how all of this actually works because I have a small brain. But I need these robots to make it to market and be affordable for relatively poor people while my kids are still ruining my home/life with their toys laying around the house.