It Was A Filthy Filthy Night In The NHL Last Night And Here Are The Top 5 Goals (10/11/18)
So yesterday I wrote a blog about how there were 286 goals scored over the first week of the 2018-19 NHL season. Last night the boys decided to add an extra 70 to that total. 12 games and 7 of them had a final total of 6 or more lamp lighters. So yeah, the trend of the first couple weeks of the season really sucking ass for goalies continues. And last night might have been the worst night for goalies out of the bunch. And it wasn’t just the amount of goals scored, but it’s the way they were scored that was flat out degrading. So without further ado, here are my personal top 5 goals from last night in the NHL.
5. Phil The Thrill With A Natural Hatty For A Natural Beauty
Not that there was anything spectacular about any of those Kessel goals last night but I’m not going to not blog about any time the KessDog pots home 3 in a night. They could have all been empty netters for all I care. If Phil Kessel scores a hat trick, he’s getting added to the blog. Thems is the rules. But yeah, let’s watch them back real quick.
That beautiful, ugly son of a bitch. Gotta love him going back-to-back glove side on those breakaways. Phil Kessel was 100% a big time Gunnar Stahl guy. He’s fancy. Poor Malcolm Subban out there looking like he’s playing with two blockers on. KessDaddy. What a legend.
4. Connor McDavid Is The Fastest Kid Alive
We’re gonna break this video down into 3 photos real quick. Photo number 1 here is where the play all starts. Seems pretty innocuous enough. Sure, McDavid is coming out of the zone with some speed but you’ve still got 2 defensemen in the neutral zone to bottle him up and hopefully prevent him from getting a clean zone entry. Right now this is looking like an okay situation for the Boston Bruins.
Alright so now McDavid has the puck on his stick and no matter where he’s at on the ice when that’s the case, you have to treat the situation like you’re fucked. He could have the puck behind his own net and you still have to go about the whole thing like you’re fucked, because at any moment you could be. But even right here, Zdeno Chara has a step on McDavid and it looks like he’s taking a decent enough angle to rub him off the puck a little. Maybe force him to pass it back to the middle or something like that.
Aaaaaaaaaand just one screenshot later, Chara is almost completely out of the frame and McDavid is on a breakaway. Confirmed fucked.
What a freak, man. I know that Chara is old and he doesn’t really have that extra gear anymore. But still. This is the National Hockey League. These are the best players in the world. And McDavid is just blowing past dudes like they’re a bunch of beer leaguers out there.
3. Ryan Johansen, Welcome To The “Sick Son Of A Bitch” Club
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Typically they tend to cook everything with a shit ton of butter down south. Unfortunately, that’s not the case in Nashville anymore because they are suffering from a severe butter shortage. Turns out all the butter in the city is in the hands of Ryan Johansen. (I give that joke 3.8 balls)
Luckily the puck was bouncing around on him a little bit so he was really able to get under it. But still. The ability to go top bunk on the backhand while you’re one foot is already in the crease is absolutely absurd. That’s how you get deemed a certified Sick Son Of A Bitch. There’s really nothing in the world that Hellebuyck could have done about that one, and that’s what makes this so rude. He didn’t bite too hard on the initial move, he recovered well after throwing that little poke check, didn’t give Johansen any space to work with, and RyJo still sticks that puck on an elevator and sends it to the top floor. Sick sick sick.
2. Speaking Of Butter, How About Some Buttered Pasta?
I think if I was David Patrnak, the thing that would make this goal so special for me is the fact that McDavid was out there and was able to have the best seat in the house to watch it all go down. He thought he was getting sprung for another breakaway again only to see his team turn the puck over at their own blueline, and then Pasta has his way with Benning before tucking Cam Talbot in and putting him to sleep with those filthy hands in tight.
Pretty decent, tbh.
1. Marcus Sorensen Is Now The King Of New York. I Believe That’s How This Works.
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I hope NYPD was in the Garden last night because I’d like to report a murder. Marcus Sorensen taking Brady Skjei to the woodshed. Turning in inside-outside, and then sniping top titties on Hank. I know the Rangers would eventually go on to win this game in overtime but holy shit was it worth it? Was the win worth it when they have THIS video footage to be played back for the rest of eternity?
Inside. Outside. Gloveside. Tell Hanky to turn around and pick that one out of the back of the net for you. I’ve watched Brady Skjei try to keep up with that last move about 147 times already right now. I can’t take my eyes off that GIF. Imagine playing against the Sharks with guys like Karlsson, Kane, Burns and Pavelski on the team. And it’s Marcus Sorensen who ends your life. Tough break.