The Trump-Kanye-Jim Brown Lunch Appears To Be Going Great!

First, Jim Brown is one of the greatest lacrosse players of all time. Dude scored 43 goals his senior year at Syracuse. I can’t imagine trying to take the ball off him. He’s in the lacrosse hall of fame and absolutely dominated games in the Carrier Dome. He was also good at football.

Perhaps because of his lacrosse talent, he was included in this very bizarre lunch at the white house with Kanye and the president.

Here’s what they’re having:

The dishes stand in stark contrast to the frivolity unfolding in the oval office. My mouth went dry just reading those options. Roasted chicken with fingerling potatoes and sautéed asparagus? Not only will your piss stink, it’s going to be brown from how dehydrated the chicken and potatoes will make you. Christ. I’m sure it will be cooked to perfection, but man, that’s boring. Guess you have to play it safe when you’re trying to satisfy three people who appear to have been selected through a game of 7 degrees of Kevin Bacon.

Here’s the scene:

And here’s a breakdown of their conversation so far:

Tears. God dammit. I would give ANYTHING to watch this conversation unfold. To watch Trump’s face reacting to Kanye RANTING for 10 straight minutes? “That was quite something,” he says. From someone who might be the greatest rambling ranter of all time, that’s high praise. If these guys had a podcast at Barstoolsports.com, their episodes would rival the Mickstape guys in terms of length. Let’s have it! I guarantee they’ll challenge those PMT guys for top dog.

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Kanye wearing his hat like a kid showing up to an autograph signing in the jersey of the player he’s meeting. Then he equates Trump’s work on criminal justice to the bravery it takes to wear his little red hat. Looney bin!

I guess we’re to assume Kanye said this to Trump? Dropped a hard “motherfucker” right in his grill, in the oval office, in front of a gaggle of press? Fantastic.

This is MINUTES after Kanye said this:

“They said I was bipolar. But nah. I just hadn’t slept enough.”

I’m fairly sure, Kanye, that you’ve admitted to having some serious mental health issues, that you were heavily medicated, and that you’ve had some serious breakdowns recently. Remember? You’re famous. We were there. The entire fucking world was there for those meltdowns. So when our sitting president says that you might be a future presidential candidate? He’s probably just being nice.

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After what seemed like ages, Jim Brown aka Father Christmas chimed in:

Well said, sir. Well said.

And the icing on the cake:

And thus, Kanye West is officially a spokesperson for President Trump. I’ll be looking forward to Kanye’s next, uh, speech.

PS- this blog touched on the insanity of Kanye West, the banality of their lunch menu, and the lacrosse prowess of Jim Brown. At no point did it mention a political opinion. Please, please don’t get upset.