Here's What's New In the World of Sexy Broads
If the title and thumbnail didn’t clue you in… This post is for the fellas.
Since I began working in this pit of ill repute, I have noticed some trends amongst the members of the fairer sex.
Almost all of my knowledge of these trends has come from my careful consideration of the daily Smokeshow blog posts by either Tommy Smokes and/or Keith. I am not sure how Tommy and Keith split them up, but apparently, there is a never-ending supply of young girls taking inappropriate pics on Instagram and an equally endless demand for guys who look like me to click on said pics
The first trend I spied in mid-June was hip cleavage…
It’s the phenomenon where a young broad gets just that… Cleavage creases where the top of her thigh meets the front of her hip.
Here’s one that is upside down, just for a different perspective…
I like this trend. A lot. Mainly because I am not gay, but also because I like a woman with some meat on her bones… Some cushion for the pushin’*, if you will. It would be hypocritical of me to demand a young lady to look like a broomstick when my considerable heft makes me basically built to break broomsticks like a fat witch. So the hip cleavage thing really agrees with me, and although I am fairly confident the women on our site who have sported hip cleavage in the past don’t give a fuck about my feelings, I give their hips my seal of approval nonetheless.
Since writing about hip cleavage in the summer, a handful of readers/perverts have pointed out there is a similar nuance to hip cleavage, the only real difference is that this other trend is essentially the cleavage fold extending across the whole thigh…
It’s called a thighbrow, which used to be a term for that little wisp of hair that would sometimes jut out from either side of a girl’s panties. But now it is the term for hip cleavage that scoffs at the idea of stopping half-way and travels more east/west.
But the hip cleavage/thighbrow comparison is not why I am here today.
Today, as I perused the home page, I came in contact with back-to-back examples of the latest trend I am keeping a close eye on… And that is multiple tan lines.
You may think this blog is an easy excuse to re-purpose pictures posted just last night, and you’d be partially right.
But it also is about the steps young women must go through to achieve this look because it certainly doesn’t happen on accident.
Sometimes I get multi-TL’s if I wear a hat when I golf.
But that look is one I don’t strive to achieve, and it is a look that actually repels members of the opposite sex.
I assume this new trend has young ladies purchasing multiple bikini bottoms. Then using the more traditional cut for sunbathing sessions, while switching to the higher cut for photo shoots to show off just how hard she has been working on that tan.
By the way, that higher cut reminds me of an iconic scene from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation…
“Can’t see the lines, can you, Russ?”
One last point…
“Well, what fashion trend amongst young hoo-ahs do you not like Large?”
Glad you asked that, made up person asking a question… I have never been a fan of the thigh gap.
When I see a woman’s undercarriage, I like to think of it more like an impenetrable wall… Kind of like that one in Game of Thrones that stood for a thousand years and was only fell by the ice dragon.
The fact that I get to be a sexual ice dragon in this metaphor is an added bonus.
The idea of a thigh gap providing a vulnerable aperture in an otherwise untraversable wall just reminds me of a holey dike that is in need of a good fingering.
See what I did there?
I could go on about this shit all day, but to be honest, I am getting lightheaded, so I am gonna go lie down.
Thanks for listening, and take a report.
-Large
*cushion for the pushin’ is a very creepy old-school phrase. I’m not saying I felt an overwhelming sense of pride at any time while typing this, but I felt I was at my lowest when I expressed my affinity for sexually pushin’ on fleshy cushions… Yuck, and shame on me.