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An Official Uncle Chaps Statement Regarding Alt-Control-Delete Gate


Earlier this morning, I wrote a blog about longtime stoolie Banksy and his self-shredding piece of art. You still have over 1 hour to look at that blog before it goes away forever.

In that blog, I used what I thought was a throwaway phrase. I said “alt control delete them from your life.” As you can see now, the online mob was worked into a frenzy.

Mean. Also, we dont say that.

and the last one that I’m going to share is particularly hurtful.

Take a minute if you must. I know that one is shocking.

Anyway, I dont think I have ever seen a twitter poll this lopsided. Reminds me of your momma’s titties. Sorry. I was lashing out.

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The results weren’t this bad when people tried to say that the phrase is “having a catch” instead of “playing catch” like a normal person. People didn’t even have such a unanimous reaction when the poll was “standing on line” vs the eternally correct “standing in line.” I guess that’s the internet in a nutshell or on a nutshell depending on where you are from.

That being said, I will try to correct my speech to match the tendencies of others. After all, if you are that far in the minority of opinions, the odds are that you are the one who’s wrong. I accept that and will only use the Windows 95 version of control alt delete from now on. In the meantime, smile, pussycat. I still love you even when you’re mean to me.