Warning: May be NSFL depending how weak your stomach is, like any fight to the death is.
I won’t lie, there was a part of me that didn’t want to post this because that got pretty fucking graphic pretty fucking quickly with a buzzing sound of death that will never escape my brain. But as somebody that lives in Winterfell and has to live with field mice trying to get into my house at all costs now that it’s getting colder out, my empathy for all rodents is pretty much at zero. It has even gotten to the point where I don’t even swerve out of the way for squirrels or chipmunks. I’m not putting my life at risk to save theirs because they are dumb enough to dart out onto the road whenever a car is near. Sorry YP.
Anyway, I went into this match with an open mind. I figured the mouse had almost every traditional advantage you would want in a fight. That furry fucker had the height advantage, the weight advantage, a mouth full of teeth, and a huuuuuge brain size advantage. Never discount brain size in an interspecies fight.
HOWEVER, I referred to my trusty chart that a Stoolie once gave to me about what is the difference between bees, wasps, and hornets.
That’s when I remembered that all the measurable numbers that cause NFL scouts to cum themselves during the Combine go out the window when you have an angry hornet with a stinger and it’s life on the line. That hornet doesn’t give a damn about how big it is. Mother Nature unleashed these beasts on the world simply to kill in the most vicious way possible while also giving them the ability to fly, which almost seems unfair. Evolution may not have made hornets bigger, but it has made them ruthlessly efficient as a killer and that little bastard lived up to its billing despite fighting above its class in the mammal division instead of the insect division.
Now I don’t know if this fight turns out differently if the hornet is taking on a hamster, a gerbil, or the video game boss of rodents, a New York City subway rat. But I do know that a typical, everyday mouse taking on a hornet is like a high school JV football team taking on the 2018 Rams. An absolute bloodbath. I won’t talk too much shit to the mouse delegation though because I’m pretty sure that I wouldn’t do any better if I was out there representing the warm-blooded mammal squad.
Interspecies chart updated for future reference: