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Tom Wilson And Brad Marchand Should Fight At RNR5

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Tom Wilson, currently suspended. Brad Marchand, soon to be suspended (possibly). So what better way should they spend their Friday night besides battling it out at Rough N Rowdy 5 in Lexington? It makes perfect sense. Everyone wins.

In one corner, you have the pest himself, Brad Marchand. Known for licking his opponents face

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In the other corner, Tom Wilson. Known for fucking up his opponents face

ICYMI last night, the Caps pummeled the Bruins 7-0. Embarrassed them up and down the ice. After the 7th goal, Lars Eller celebrated, which apparently was a big no-no to Marchand (career fights, 19), so he then decided to jump Eller (career fights, 0).

The thing is, he never would have done that if he knew he would have to answer to number 43. So that’s why we have Rough N Rowdy. So Marchand can fight who he’s meant to fight. They can’t do it on the ice because of Willy’s current suspension, but I scoured the NHL rulebook front to back and there’s nothing that says they can’t fight in Lexington, Kentucky tomorrow. Nothing at all!

So it’s settled. If Marchand doesn’t show up to Kentucky tomorrow, he’s a pussy and he admits Tom Wilson is his daddy. I know I’ll be tuning in because there’s no way Marchand would admit to being a little bitch like that, right?

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BUY NOW TO WATCH MARCHAND VS WILSON AT RNR5 UNLESS MARCHAND IS TOO MUCH OF A BITCH TO SHOW UP

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PS: Think Linday Lohan will be watching RNR5?

That’s how you tie it all together.