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Border Patrol Agent Fined $220K For Gender Reveal That Lit 47K Acres On Fire

You think it’s going to be a fun, easy, win-win all around and then things go terribly wrong. No, I’m not talking about the Eagles game. (heyyyo.) I’m talking about a gender reveal in The Grand Canyon State gone awry for a border patrol agent & his family resulting in nearly 80 miles of forest burning & $220,000 in restitution. The event happened last year but the case was finally settled this past week.

From the Daily Beast:

The Arizona Daily Star reports 37-year-old Dennis Dickey pleaded guilty to the misdemeanor charge of “causing a fire without a permit” after he caused the April 2017 Sawmill Fire in Arizona. Dickey reportedly shot a target containing Tannerite, an “explosive substance designed to detonate when shot by a high-velocity firearm,” and colored powder that would reveal the baby’s gender at the party. Tannerite has reportedly been linked to past wildfires.

According to his lawyer, Dickey immediately called law enforcement and admitted he started the blaze—but 40 mph winds that day caused the fire to rapidly spread. Almost 800 firefighters worked to stop the fire over about a week, which cost the state around $8.2 million. No injuries were reported, and no buildings were destroyed. Since Dickey was only charged with a misdemeanor, the newspaper reports that he will likely keep his job.

“It was a complete accident,” Dickey told U.S. Magistrate Judge Leslie A. Bowman in court. “I feel absolutely horrible about it. It was probably one of the worst days of my life.”

My initial thoughts are 1) I’m glad no one died and 2) this baby will have a great story to tell at the bars when it gets older.

“Yeah, the great fire of ’17? Technically, that was me. Also, you got this round? I’m a little short right now.”

We’ve seen gender reveals from powder bursting out of tubas, bullets exploding targets, baseball bats hitting (or missing) balls, alligators crushing things, terrifying giant babies bursting out of cardboard boxes, smoke from squealing car tires and so much more. There’s even a good one where sparks fly in the wonderful land of DelCo. But are they getting out of hand?

I don’t have any kids but if I ever ingest enough tequila for that to happen I hope I can pull off a shocking, memorable reveal. I’m thinking it’ll involve hiding in the bushes with a bunch of balloons & then jumping out at the unsuspecting bro-ey professional who barely recognizes me and shouting, “Surpriiiiiiise! You’re gonna be a daaaad! Sorrey.”