Drink Philly came out with their Top 9 Favorite Irish Bars in Philadelpha. Actually a decent list, but they missed their mark. People want to know the best to go places tomorrow (even though the the actual St. Patrick’s day is Monday) to drink until they see literal Leprechauns. Basically get piss drunk with your Philly Irish brothers and have one hell of a good time. Sure, you can do the straight Erin Express route and not go wrong, but this is for those who fly by the seat of their pants. Even though there’s a decent chance those pants will be missing by dinner time.
Sticking to (mostly) Center City here with 1 Univ City and 1 Fairmount Area bar. To the morons who are pissed I didn’t put on some Irish dive in South Philly, Paddy’s Pub in Olde City or the 21-year-old douchenuggets mad Kildaire’s in Manayunk isn’t included: Relax.
Honorable Mentions: The Black Sheep, Oh Shea’s, Fergies and McGlinchey’s – but mostly because these are the classier establishments where if you piss yourself at the bar it’s for some reason looked at as an ejectable offense.
5) Fado/Irish Pub/Cav’s
Lumped these bars together because everyone knows about them. You want to think you’re with the crowd, take Car Bombs because you’re that cool and pay $6 for Bud Lights then one of these corporate operations is your play. All spots will be more packed than a drug dealer’s asshole checking into prison, but it is what it is. Still a decent time as they’re closing down streets outside of Fado and Cav’s tomorrow. Would probably go with Fado over the rest as they had a great band inside last week and it’s the closest one to Chipolte (need that burrito base at least once during the day to soak all the alcohol).
Need a spot to where you can get a seat, cheap beer and a bite before diving head first into some Leprechaun tats? Kelliann’s is your place. It’s a marathon, not a sprint, Laddy’s. Did the Dive Bar Review here and it’s perfect to sit down and get some of the best wings in the city before inevitably shitting them out in a Porta-Potty/back alley later. Just don’t look directly into the owner’s eyes if you want to leave with your soul.
3) Bonner’s Irish Pub
You wanna get nuts? Come on! Let’s get nuts. Only go to Bonner’s once a year, and it’s for St. Patrick’s day. Actually anyone who goes there not on St. Patty’s day has more issues than solely a drinking problem. But for this day, Bonner’s is the certified tits. Entire block is one big drunken green fiesta. Pretty last year we paid for pitchers of beer with those chocolate golden coins and not a single fuck was given by all.
2) Blarney Stone
In University City and will be a mess of a madhouse, but worth it if you can make the trip. Great bar, cheap drinks and an even better atmosphere. Never fails. FYI: Dignity is not allowed to step foot into the Blarney Stone. Leave that shit in Center City.
Perfect place to end up at later in the night. Will be wall to wall, but Philly’s oldest bar is a great spot. If you can get a table you’ll be there from 11am to close and if your bill exceeds $100 you will have drunk enough alcohol to kill a blue whale or Matt Stairs, whichever beast can hold more. Also one of the few places where you can control the playlist, a huge underrated plus. God help everyone if I find my way there drunk and find a $20 in my pocket. Would be a Springsteen, Johnny Cash and Eric Church concert for the rest of the evening. Mix in some Billy Joel and a You Can Call Me Al for the kids and call it a life.
And that’s all she wrote. Think you have what it takes to make it out past dinnertime? Psshh.