I Am Currently 1-1058 In Fortnite Solo Matches, And Tonight I Will Not Log Off Until I Get #2

That’s it. Enough is enough. The stench of failure is a mighty one, and I reek. Bad. I can’t in good conscience go forward at this rate of pure, unmitigated disaster. I’ve put in WAY too much time, effort, energy, heart, soul, and sack into the war of Fortnite to only have 1 victory. After 1,059 (sanctioned) matches, it’s unacceptable. And that’s all I can stands and I can’t stands no more. We’re getting that fucking #2. I don’t care if it takes 5 minutes or until the sun explodes. It took me 956 games to get #1. I don’t care if it takes me 956,000,000 to get the next. We’re getting #2 while streaming tonight possibly thru when the next Mayan calendar ends. Or we’re dying trying.

8pm. Twitch.tv/BarstoolSports. Guaranteed victory. And there are no guaranteed victories unless victory is guaranteed. Especially if Sniper Smitty comes out, or stays in the shadows. There will be no survivors.