Somebody upgrade this guy from the person who delivers the food on the Domino’s Tracker App to the guy that puts it in the oven. We have heard the phrase “Not all heroes wear capes” enough, but this guy took it to the next level by not even getting a goddamn car. This sorry son of a bitch was trudging on a scooter and getting ragdolled by that bitch Mother Nature while saying “I think I can, I think I can” over and over in Japanese because someone wanted some Cheesy Bread and Lava Cakes during a motherfucking TYPHOON. There are certain times where calling the delivery guy is just plain old wrong and a typhoon is at the top of the list just above hurricane and cyclone, even though those are all the same thing but get their names based on where they occur.
This guy didn’t care though. He was going to get those pizzas to their home by hell or high water, literally. And it wasn’t like he was doing it for his family’s mom and pop pizza shop. He was doing it for the Domino’s corporation. I don’t care how long it took this guy to arrive or how fucked up those pizzas were after they were ragdolled in that scooter. If he didn’t get a raise, an 8 billion yen tip (which to be fair is like $10) or was able to live out the role of pizza guy in some real life Japanese porno for making this trip, he should quit his job tomorrow.