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Ravens Kicker Who Was Beaten Senseless Says He Doesn't Remember How it Happened

SourceThe police report was released Tuesday after Ravens rookie kicker Kaare Vedvik was assaulted Saturday in east Baltimore.

Vedvik, a kicker and punter from Norway, was placed on the team’s reserve injury list Sunday.

Police say the assault happened just before 4 a.m. Saturday. When officers arrived in the area of the 2000 block of Boone St., they found the victim, identified as Vedvik. He was suffering from upper body injuries. He was taken to Shock Trauma in Baltimore for treatment.

According to the police report, Vedvik was out in Fells Point earlier in the evening before he was assaulted, but he doesn’t remember the circumstances that led to his assault.

Vedvik was out with a couple of teammates, but they decided they wanted to leave. Vedvik reportedly decided to stay out with a couple ladies he was with.

The teammates he was out with said they called him just after 3 a.m., and Vedvik said he was “good.”

Vedvik reportedly told the head of security for the Ravens, Darren Sanders, that he doesn’t remember anything after that phone call with teammates, including how he ended up in the area where the assault happened.

Vedvik told Sanders that his wallet and cell phone were gone.

There’s an expression that goes, “Nothing good ever happens after 11 o’clock.” But it’s not entirely true. I stay out later than that all the time. Because the later it gets and the more beers I’ve had, the more intelligent, handsome, articulate, witty and charming I get. And by 11, I’m like Clooney reading from the best works of Oscar Wilde.

I will agree though, that tweaking that piece of advice to, “Nothing good ever happens after 3 a.m.” is correct 100 percent of the time. Even when you’re on the verge of making an NFL roster and you’re the last man standing with a couple of ladies. At 11, that’s a dream scenario. At 3:00 in the morning, your mugging is all but assured. If you haven’t closed the deal on the menage by then, you are being set up like a muthafucka. You might as well just hand them your wallet and phone and beat the bag out of yourself, just to save everybody involved the time and effort.

That’s not meant to be victim-shaming by any stretch. It’s just the realities of life. Especially where Vedvik had the misfortune to find himself with his would-be dates. I know nothing of Baltimore beyond a few blocks outside of Camden Yards. But The Boston Globe euphemistically called Fells Point “an impoverished area.” Or what the residents who actually know the place more accurately call, “the bad part of town”:

So hopefully this is a lesson learned for Vedvik. That he’s not in Oslo or Lillihammer any more. That America can be a brutal, nasty place where not everyone has your best interests at heart, even when you’re almost officially a pro athlete. And not every young lady is interested in that dream scenario 3-way you were hoping for when you got into football. At least the Ravens IR’ed him instead of releasing him, so he’ll have at least a year to let that lesson sink in. Just as long as he doesn’t lose his faith in his fellow man, his ability to make the Ravens next year, and his chances of picking up two women without getting his head beaten in. Thus endth the lesson.