The Gift Bags Given Out To Oscar Presenters Didn't Seem Excessive At All

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BUISINESS INSIDER – All the nominees head home with more than $85,000 worth of goodies after the ceremony. For the past 12 years, Distinctive Assets has been putting together the “Everyone Wins at the Oscars Nominee Gift Bag.” This year’s basket costs nearly double the price of last year’s with more than 50 gifts ranging in price from $6.50 to $16,000.

ALL ITEMS:

$16,000 toward a hair transplant
$15,000 walking tour around Japan
$9,000 trip to Las Vegas
$6,850 two-day Rocky Mountaineer train excursion from Vancouver to Alberta in the Canadian Rockies
$6,100 will provide 10,000 meal donations from Ellen DeGeneres’ Halo Spot’s Stew pet food to a shelter of the nominee’s choice
$5,000 toward laser hair removal and cosmetic surgery from Ideal Image
$5,000 certificate to purchase art and get it installed at home from Gizara.
$4,895 water filtration system for your house from Krystal Klear Water
$3,300 resort stay at the Imanta’s Ocean Casa suite in Mexico
$2,700 “O-Shot” procedure to help a woman’s sex drive
$2,560 home spa system from Steamist
$2,000 5-night stay at the Koloa Landing Resort in Hawaii
$1,571.98 of supplies from Epic Pet Health which includes a year’s supply of an electrolyte supplement made specifically for your pet
$850 for 10 personal training sessions with Huntley Drive Fitness.
$750 in Max Martin luxury shoes.
$575 in tickets to all-kid pro Cirque troupe, Le Petit Cirque.
$500 lifetime membership to a meditation gym from Headspace.com
$500 house call with celebrity acupuncturist and nutritionist Heather Lounsbury.
$400 Jan Lewis bangle bracelet made from wood shapes.
$300 in organic skin, body, and hair care products from Acure.
$290 Swiss-made Slow Watch
$280 of organic maple syrup from Rouge Maple
$279 portable camera and app from Narrative Clip
$279 leather purse from Jitseu.
$230 leather iPhone 5 case from Vetvik.
$185 Shellfish knife set.
$162 worth of Hookahzz E-Cigarettes and E-Liquids.
$158 in winter accessories from CherryT Knit & Co.
$120 Go Pro hair dryer from Coolway.
$120 for pink and Camo Mace pepper guns
$105 in organic makeup products by Diane Capt. $109.95 activity tracker from Polar Loop.
$100 in beauty products from M3K Beauty.
$95.35 in horse shampoo and conditioner made for human hair from Mane ‘N Tail.
$70 candles that double as perfume and warm massage oil from Objects with Purpose.
$69.75 in homemade caramels and sweets from Betty Jane Candies.
$60 in Cannonball Wines.
$59 in dinnerware from Slimware.
$50 toward hiring film maker Charles Van Loucks.
$49.95 worth of tea made in Australia from Blossom Blends.
$49.95 copy of the first graphic novel in the series “Loaded: The Story of a Ghost”
$39 in US grown “honey” made from organic apples from Bee Free Honee.
$38.96 in Hydroxycut weight loss gummies, protein bars, and shakes
$35 six-pack of herbal tea-based lollipops from Dosha Pops
$30 bottle of AVIV 613 Vodka.
$23 in reusable 3-in-1 dry-cleaning bags from Green Garmento
$15 worth of fabric wrap from European company Wrag Wrap.
$15 organic pet shampoo from Simon’s Happy Pet.
$20 six-pack of Naked Luxury condoms
$24.99 Bluetooth camera shutter remote for Apple products from HISY.
$6.49 DrainWig that prevents hair clogs in your shower drain

Nothing like millionaires getting stuff for free. Doesn’t even matter $6,100 goes to Ellen’s version of The Human Fund. These celebrities need those $35 lollipop and the His & Her, Pink and Cameo Mace guns. The $16,000 hair transplant specifically for John Travolta? Vincent Vega’s rug looked like it was about to crawl into the audience to get someone’s number like it’s filming a damn Old Spice commercial.

Guy who made out like a bandit here is Charles Van Loucks. These super rich A-listers are definitely going to pass on working with the likes of Spielberg, Fincher and Nolan when they see they now have a $50 voucher to hire a man whose most Googleable result is his personal Facebook profile. Even better look when he accepted a loser blogger’s friendship request almost immediately. Dude must be more in demand than Brando in his prime.

Only presenter deserving of anything is Daniel Day Lewis. Man puts 110% into everything he does.

PS – Best presenter of the night by far was Bill Murray, even though somebody should’ve told him filming for Zombieland wrapped up 5 years ago.

All class, even more heart.

h/t @mort_21