Surviving Barstool | Ep. 3 Premieres Wednesday (11/29) at 8PM ETWATCH EP. 2 NOW

Apple's Steve Jobs Memorial Statue Is The Stuff Nightmares Are Made Of


REGISTER – A new Steve Jobs tribute statue designed by Serbian sculptor Dragan Radenovic was revealed in Belgrade yesterday, according to Serbian news site Netokracija. The date chosen for the unveiling was symbolic, as yesterday would have been Jobs’ 59th birthday. Of the over 10,000 entries submitted, this scale model of the work features a metal representation of Jobs’ head perched on the top of an obelisk.

This is a scale model? Good Lord. Get a priest and burn at the stake whoever is making the real statue before it’s completed, comes alive and kills us all. And out of 10K models submitted this is the best one? Give me a boulder, a rock hammer and a year’s worth of weed and whiskey and I’ll Michelangelo something better looking in a week. Not too sure one of history’s greatest minds would want to be remembered for eternity as something straight out of John Carpenter’s The Thing. Samsung wouldn’t even try to copy this monstrosity.

Top half looks like Stevey J is doing the Thriller dance with a hard on. Think about it.

PS – If this is how our generation’s Einstein will forever be remembered I’d hate to see what my memorial would look like. Probably some Kramer-like, Fusilli-Smitty creation with an actual Lego head and a can of tuna for a base before it’s thrown unceremoniously into a dumpster fire. I’ve wasted my life.