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“Meanwhile, Portnoy is stuck cranking out videos in which he eats pizza on the street”
“It’s not enough to be successful others must fail.” It’s actually insane how much smarter I am than everybody else. The fact the beautiful and sexy Laura Wagner thought I was just eating pizza for the hell of it is laugh out loud funny. Dave Portnoy always has a plan. Pizza is the gateway to the brain and now I own pizza and I own brains. Meanwhile Laura Wagner is still trying figuring out the license plate of the car that just ran her over. Newflash Laura. It wasn’t a car. It was half Mack Truck half Lamborghini. Good luck stopping that. Checkmate Pageviews.
PS – The offer to go on a date still stands.