Lemurs Self-Medicate By Rubbing Millipede Secretions All Over Their Assholes
Nat Geo – Generally speaking, it’s never a good idea to put a millipede in your mouth. Nor would it be advisable to whip one into a frenzy and then rub it all over your genitals.
After all, millipedes are known to produce an array of toxic secretions that keep predators at bay. Some species can even cause chemical burns.
However, in November of 2016, animal behaviorist Louise Peckre watched as a female red-fronted lemur in Madagascar’s Kirindy Forest picked up a giant millipede. The creature began alternating between chewing on the noxious critter and massaging it into the fur around her tail and sex organs. Finally, she gobbled the arthropod down.
Things are escalating quickly today! What better way to dive headfirst into the weekend than with some Lemur asshole chatter.
For my fellow science guys, you may be familiar with lemurs using millipedes in a more controversial, albeit significantly more fun way.
That’s right. We’ve already documented these weird monkeys chowing down on some millipedes in an attempt to catch a quick buzz. I haven’t gotten high off any millipedes in years, so I can’t really speak on what that feels like, but I have a ton of respect for these lemurs understanding the different ways to use their local resources in a fun and productive manner. Howevah, what scientists are now suggesting about Madagascar’s red-fronted lemurs takes their creativity and intelligence to a whole new level.
Apparently these lemurs have figured out how to chew on these poisonous millipedes juuuuust right so they secrete some of their poison, at which point they spit it out into their hands and rub it all in and around their assholes. Scientists observed multiple lemurs from multiple “troops” repeating this behavior over and over, chewing on the same millipede and periodically rubbing the goo into their fur and onto the skin surrounding their dirty little monkey buttholes.
Why are they doing this, you ask? Well folks, that’s the worst (and best) part about this whole story.
“To understand why the red-fronted lemurs might rub toxins on their genitals, first you have to understand that this species harbors a greater variety of gastrointestinal parasites than any other lemur species.”
“What’s more, some of these nematodes can cause itchy rashes around the lemurs’ backsides when the adult worms exit the anus to lay their eggs on the surrounding skin.”
What would you do if you had parasites crawling out of your asshole and laying eggs on the surrounding skin, leaving you with an itchy rash? If I were a lemur, and I had little bugs venturing through the dark, cavernous depths within my anus, you can bet your sweet, non-parasitic ass I’d be eating these fucking millipedes every day, breakfast lunch and dinner. No questions asked. You gotta do what you gotta do.
Many thoughts and prayers to the entire red-fronted lemur community. Literally, I’ll probably be thinking about monkeys with little parasites crawling out of their assholes all night. Can’t wait.