Wednesday Homestretch
Weakness in the DOW today has brought the average back to even on the year, while the tech heavy NASDAQ is still up ~12% YTD, and the S&P is 4% higher. Makes sense for the DOW to lag in this geopolitical environment, as a trade war would inflict the most financial pain on multinational and industrial companies. Names like Boeing and CAT Tractor get a fair amount of revenue overseas, and carry heavy weighting within the average.
Outside of equities, copper, which is highly sensitive to economic growth, plunged 3.6% today to the lowest level in a nearly year, and soybeans fell to a 10-year low after China included them in its list of retaliatory tariffs.
I read this morning that a managing director from Credit Suisse was shown the door after getting bombed at a company party a few weeks back and licking an intern.
In totally unrelated news, Barstool Finance is proud to announce the hiring of former CSFB employee, Paul Dexter. His immediate responsibilities will include recruiting and organizing company events.
Funny how the secondary headline on the Bloomberg story I attached says “This story might surprise old-school Wall Streeters.”
Douchebag MD gets drunk and licks an intern?… I am not surprised at all. For a good chunk of the 90’s, that move was called “The Large”.
Moving on to someone I would never lick, here’s 2 minutes of cringeworthy YouTube…
If you didn’t watch the whole thing, I don’t blame you. Only reason I posted was because one of the commenters said “Old MacDonald had a horse… E-I-E-I-No”, and that made me giggle.
Programming Note: I will be on Barstool Radio tonight from 4-6PM, and will then do Barstool Breakfast tomorrow from 7-9AM… SIRIUS Channel 85. I have a face made for radio apparently.
Finally, I often use her family as a punchline, but Forbes Magazine reporting that high school GED recipient Kylie Jenner will be the youngest person in history to make a billion dollars. She launched an immensely successful makeup line on the back of the fame her sister brought to the family after being fucked on camera.
Think about that before you decide to send your daughter to Sarah Lawrence for $70k a year.
Take a report.
-Large
PS: Shoutout to my kid’s camp counsellor, Brian, who says he loves the Homestretch every day. Do your parents know you read this shit? I won’t tell them, as long as you keep preventing my kids from drowning.
TAFR
-L