The Biggest Food Critic On The Internet Is An 11 Year Old Brooklyn Kid, Glenny and Francis, Welcome To Cuck City
NY POST - He has more than 10,000 Instagram followers, hangs out with chefs, photographers and podcasters and gets his tab picked up by local restaurateurs.
And he’s 11 years old.
The kid in question is Luca Marconi, a fifth grader who, under his Instagram handle @LucaTwoTimes, is also a big-talking food reviewer. For the last year, the cuddly Williamsburg, Brooklyn, boy has been a tireless chronicler of all things edible.
“This burrata bounces the flavor out, makes it much better,” he declares in one video. Later, he says, “This chicken tenderloin is fire!”
“Hey Glenny Balls and Harvard Francis – allow me to serve you up a platter of cuck.”
Lot of buzz when Francis posted his in depth review of Eleven Madison Park, at the time the number one restaurant in the world, but promptly dropped to #4 after Francis dined there. He brought a little notepad. Took notes on every course. Described the service, ambiance, clientele, work flow, aesthetic all in extreme detail, his 10,000 words of prose jumping off the screen to give you a feel for the entire fine dining experience. Got himself a cool, I don’t know, 40K pageviews on that thing, not too shabby.
Meanwhile Glenny Balls has been hustling his ass all over Manhattan to review every burger joint in the city. Cutting up and editing videos grading the entire burger eating scene at various establishments.
And where did it get them?
Living in the shadow of Luca TwoTimes, “The Foodie Always Poppin'”
(I see you with those 270s my dude.)
Look at the kid’s energy.
WHAT’S UP GUYS.
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Stunt stunt stunt.
He’s a legitimate Instagram celebrity now. And with it comes the fame, the fortune, and of course, the chicks and celebrities.
I think this is him in this too, one of my favorite videos on the summer? He posted it like he was the star of it.
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Need our guys to pick it up. Get off your ass and hit more spots and go viral and get on the cover of the Post. I will not allow Barstool Sports to be defeated in the food game by some little 11 year old punk and his raviolis.
Going forward, Luca has big plans. For his 11th birthday in June, he received his own iPhone X, so he doesn’t have to post from his mom or Curcio’s phone anymore. “The hard work paid off,” says Luca, who makes no money from his reviews.
He also has academic aspirations. “I want to be a lawyer, because I want to help my community and make sure they’re safe,” he says.
Kid is gonna be a fucking Instagram celebrity lawyer and humanitarian, we either need that from Francis or Glenny or we need to get Luca TwoTimes on the damn payroll.