Big Ev AKA The Double Vodka Don Intern Update: Snapchat is my Excalibur
It was June 6, 2018 at approximately 10:30 am. A regular Wednesday in most normal real world jobs. Most normal real world jobs also have talent contests every summer to determine the hiring of a new employee right? No? Well I don’t work at a normal real world job I work at Barstool Sports and let me tell you first hand it is WAY better. Anyway I was sitting at the intern table working on a blog when I was approached by Devlin. He told me I was being given the task of selfie interviewing all the Barstool Idol contestants for the Barstool Snapchat.
I was excited for the opportunity and confident in my abilities in the use of the selfie camera. I had a lot of experience with selfie videos, some might even say it was a staple in my content arsenal. But expanding it to interviewing another person was a whole other cookie to crack. My first thought was “How the hell am I gonna fit another person in the frame with my giant pear-shaped head? Taco Bell bell-head lookin ass.” But after some research into the matter I discovered there was still some room to fit another face in the lens of the shot. Phew, talk about dodging a bullet. Then I thought “What will I ask them? I don’t wanna freeze up and have nothing to say like a big stupid moron.” By the time I could even think about that I had to go into the bullpen where the contestants waited and begin my duties. I figured I’d just pull something out of my ass that would be sufficient, I usually respond well when I’m thrown into the fire. Before I interviewed everyone individually I had to take an opening snap with all the contestants to kick off the “Double Vodka Don Barstool Idol Snapchat Takeover”. So I opened my phone to Snapchat and got to business.
At that instance all the blood in my body flooded to the tip of my penis. I knew something special had just happened. I felt like King Arthur when he was asked to pull the sword from the stone. Snapchat selfie interviews were my version of Excalibur. I had found my weaponry of choice.
My love affair for the Snapchat selfie interview was that of an Army solider for his rifle. “This is my snapchat. There are many like it, but this one is mine. Without my snapchat I am nothing. Without me my snapchat is nothing.” It was a match made in heaven.
When Devlin asked me to continue on again for the next round of contestants I was giddy. Happier than Rick Ross eating this piece of meat he had just prepared.
Stay Tuned for Round 3 of Auditions for Barstool Idol Season 2 and catch me taking over the Snapchat once again doing interviews with contestants tomorrow!