Putin is Having Russian World Cup Workers Undergo 'Smiling Training' Because No One Knows How To Be Happy Over There
Workers in Russia are being taught how to smile in a bid to be more welcoming to tourists during the 2018 FIFA World Cup, which kicks off on Thursday.
Russians do not smile as much as other Europeans, according to the BBC. An article in The Atlantic attempts to explain why when it loosely translates a Russian proverb: “Laughing for no reason is a sign of stupidity.”
However, there’s now a reason to smile – 1.5 million reasons to be precise, as Russian news agency Tass claims 1.5 million foreign tourists are expected in Russia during the World Cup.
To prepare for all the tourists, workers in key companies like FIFA, Russian Railways, and Moscow Metro are all undergoing unique training.
The BBC says the world governing body for football and the two Russian transport firms are teaching staff how to smile.
I can just picture it now. Vlad Putin lining up 500 workers right before the World Cup today and asking for their best smile. One by one he goes down the line and simply points at someone. If they don’t give off a genuine smile they are murdered on the spot, along with their family members for not raising them the right way. If they smile appropriately, they live to fight another day and get to keep their job.
There’s a real reason this is happening. Russia is expecting over a million tourists for the big games in the next few weeks and no one in the country smiles because of fear. According to my brain, Russia is all about business and vodka. They’re all too terrified to say the wrong thing in fear of pissing off Putin. I mean that’s completely understandable since I would be fearing for my life 24/7 in that place.
This old Russian saying might be my favorite line ever, “Laughing for no reason is a sign of stupidity.” I can picture Putin saying this line over 500 times a day to his inferiors. In his palace it’s probably written all over the place.
So what exactly happens at Russian smiling camp? I would assume they just show this video on loop for four hours in a small dark room until everyone masters it.
If it’s not clicking after four hours you’re as good as dead.