<!DOCTYPE html><html lang="en"><head><meta charset="utf-8"><meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width,initial-scale=1,maximum-scale=1,user-scalable=no,shrink-to-fit=no"><title>No One Does Names Like Brazil Does Names</title><link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="https://htlbid.com/v3/app.barstoolsports.com/htlbid.css"><script async src="https://htlbid.com/v3/app.barstoolsports.com/htlbid.js"></script><script>window.htlbid=window.htlbid||{},htlbid.cmd=htlbid.cmd||[],htlbid.cmd.push((function(){htlbid.setTargeting("pagetype","blog"),htlbid.setTargeting("authorId","45"),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_keywords",["names","brazil","one","cool name","big game week","big cat","el pres","half","guy","live event barstool sports picks central || monday","et tune","last name","fred","barstool scottsdale | tonight","exchange"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_IABv1",["IAB17","IAB17-2"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_IABv2",["545","483"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_IABv3",["483","545"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_neutral","1"),htlbid.setTargeting("is_testing","no"),htlbid.layout()}))</script><script>var googletag = googletag || {};
          googletag.cmd = googletag.cmd || [];

          googletag.pubads().set('page_url', https://www.barstoolsports.com/blog/100242/no-one-does-names-like-brazil-does-names);
      <script>
      <script>
        pbjs.setConfig({ pageUrl: https://www.barstoolsports.com/blog/100242/no-one-does-names-like-brazil-does-names });</script><script src="https://d9rde3y35j061.cloudfront.net/script.js"></script><script src="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/embed.js" async></script><style>.union__content{font-family:-apple-system,HelveticaNeue,Roboto,sans-serif;font-weight:400;font-size:18px;color:#5a5b5d;word-wrap:break-word;box-sizing:border-box;padding:0 5px 32px 5px}.union__content p{padding:0;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content img{display:block;width:100%!important;height:auto;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content video{display:block!important;width:100%!important;height:auto;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content .articleAd{text-align:center;margin:16px 0 0 0;background-color:#f5f5f5}.union__content .htlad__container{display:inline-block}.union__content p a{color:#377dc4}.union__content .oembed__wrapper{margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video){display:block;margin:16px 0 0 0;padding:4px 12px;border-left:4px solid #77889a;font-style:italic;background:#f0f4f8;text-align:left;border-radius:0 6px 6px 0}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video) p{font-style:italic}.union__content blockquote,q{quotes:none}.union__content iframe{max-width:100%}.union__content .bs-image-hidden{display:none}.union__content div.hq-image{width:fit-content;margin:0 auto}.union__content span.image-attribution,.union__content span.image-attribution a{color:#757575;font-size:12px;font-style:italic;letter-spacing:.1px;line-height:14px;text-decoration:none;padding:0;margin:0}.union__content .bs-videoPlayer .bs-videoPlayer__container,.union__content video-js,.wp-video{width:100%!important;height:0!important;position:relative;padding-bottom:56.25%;overflow:hidden;margin:16px 0 0 0}.wp-video video{width:100%!important;height:100%!important}.hq-image video{width:100%!important;height:100%!important}.union__content .bs-videoPlayer__container>iframe{position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;border:none}@media (prefers-color-scheme:dark){.union__content,body,html{background:#1c1c1c;color:#f1f1f1}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video){border-left:4px solid #367dc4;background:#272c35}}</style><script>window.addEventListener("applicationDidBecomeActive",(()=>{document.querySelectorAll(".hq-image video[autoplay]").forEach((e=>e.play()))}))</script></head><body class="union__content"><p><a href="http://chicago.barstoolsports.com/files/2014/06/Screen-Shot-2014-06-12-at-3.03.32-PM.png"><img class="alignnone size-large wp-image-100243" alt="Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 3.03.32 PM" src="https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2025/07/25/Img-Not-Avail.50164f2b.png?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75" width="480" height="358" srcset="https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2025/07/25/Img-Not-Avail.50164f2b.png?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75&width=320 320w, https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2025/07/25/Img-Not-Avail.50164f2b.png?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75&width=480 480w, https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2025/07/25/Img-Not-Avail.50164f2b.png?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75&width=640 640w, https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2025/07/25/Img-Not-Avail.50164f2b.png?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75&width=750 750w, https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2025/07/25/Img-Not-Avail.50164f2b.png?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75&width=828 828w, https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2025/07/25/Img-Not-Avail.50164f2b.png?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75&width=1080 1080w, https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2025/07/25/Img-Not-Avail.50164f2b.png?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75&width=1200 1200w, https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2025/07/25/Img-Not-Avail.50164f2b.png?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75&width=1920 1920w, https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2025/07/25/Img-Not-Avail.50164f2b.png?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75&width=2048 2048w, https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2025/07/25/Img-Not-Avail.50164f2b.png?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75&width=3840 3840w" sizes="(max-width: 1080px) 100vw, 388px" loading="eager" style="aspect-ratio:1.7244444444444444"></a></p><p> </p><p>Half the guys have no last names. A Fred, Oscar, and Hulk. I should’ve been Brazilian.*</p><p> </p><p>*If I wanted a cool name in exchange for being a poor person that drinks poop water in a favela all my life.</p></body></html>

<p><a href="http://chicago.barstoolsports.com/files/2014/06/Screen-Shot-2014-06-12-at-3.03.32-PM.png"><img class="alignnone size-large wp-image-100243" alt="Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 3.03.32 PM" src="https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2025/07/25/Img-Not-Avail.50164f2b.png?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75" width="480" height="358" srcset="https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2025/07/25/Img-Not-Avail.50164f2b.png?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75&width=320 320w, https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2025/07/25/Img-Not-Avail.50164f2b.png?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75&width=480 480w, https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2025/07/25/Img-Not-Avail.50164f2b.png?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75&width=640 640w, https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2025/07/25/Img-Not-Avail.50164f2b.png?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75&width=750 750w, https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2025/07/25/Img-Not-Avail.50164f2b.png?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75&width=828 828w, https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2025/07/25/Img-Not-Avail.50164f2b.png?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75&width=1080 1080w, https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2025/07/25/Img-Not-Avail.50164f2b.png?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75&width=1200 1200w, https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2025/07/25/Img-Not-Avail.50164f2b.png?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75&width=1920 1920w, https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2025/07/25/Img-Not-Avail.50164f2b.png?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75&width=2048 2048w, https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2025/07/25/Img-Not-Avail.50164f2b.png?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75&width=3840 3840w" sizes="(max-width: 1080px) 100vw, 388px" loading="eager" style="aspect-ratio:1.7244444444444444"></a></p><p> </p><p>Half the guys have no last names. A Fred, Oscar, and Hulk. I should’ve been Brazilian.*</p><p> </p><p>*If I wanted a cool name in exchange for being a poor person that drinks poop water in a favela all my life.</p>

No One Does Names Like Brazil Does Names

Barstool Sports Homepage

This layout is the Featured section for barstoolsports.com and the Barstool iOS app.

Featured Section

Slot 1

Slot 2

Slot 3

This layout is the home feed section for barstoolsports.com and the Barstool iOS app.

Featured

Cities

Sports

Barstool Brands

Sports

Cities

Trending

Advertisement

No One Does Names Like Brazil Does Names

Advertisement

Unfiltered. Unapologetic. In Your Inbox.