Get A Load Of This Woman Driving Her Car Through An Active Marathon

I can’t call this lady a hero because, you know, she’s not that sweet. But I think I’m on her side. Marathons are the worst. They shut the entire city down. Every participant thinks they’re doing the world a favor, and after the race, they think they’re the victim of some horrific ordeal. They walk around in their shit-flecked shorts and their stupid fishnet bibs and accept space blankets and shoulder rubs as though they’ve been rescued from a house fire at 2AM. They’re always fucking shivering and they speak in hushed tones. Hey guys? Not only did you sign up for this insanely boring event, you PAID to participate in it. I go jogging too; I just stop a lot sooner because I have other things to do with my day.

So in general, I approve of anyone who wants to stand up to the entitled cult of runners we call the marathon. Watching that dude try to stop her car with a SINGLE road cone was absolutely hysterical and the perfect illustration of a marathoner’s mindset.

This guy is thinking “mind over matter. I can stop this car if I just believe in myself.” Meanwhile, the lady is thinking “physics means I win.” And she’s right. Science always wins.

Isn’t it amazing to listen to them argue in British accents? They sound so smart even though this is so stupid from both sides. Even in the height of passion, with tempers boiling over, both the lady and her detractors are able to defend their points with articulate logic.

“I went very slowly.” They don’t care, babe; they’re running a marathon. It’s their day/week/month/year/world.