Dear Chapsy: My Girlfriend Has A Stinky Vagina (Pussy)

Ok guys, I need your advice. My girlfriend has an abnormally smelly vagina and downstairs, or so I believe. I’ve been with other women before, and it’s never been an issue. To clarify, it’s not like we’re sitting on the couch and I’m catching some foul aromas, this is specifically during and after sex.

The first time I noticed it I was hungover, and with an already upset stomach, I almost threw up. Thinking it might’ve just been me being hungover, I didn’t think anything of it, but it’s persisted. Knowing this I usually stick to positions that keep my sniffer away from the danger zone, but I like giving oral, and this is not something I can enjoy anymore. It’s most noticeable after sex, and I find myself washing my hands and dong for 10 minutes afterwards to just get the smell off. Although curiously I can’t smell it on her and she doesn’t not wash up as vigorously afterwards.

In addition, her other nether region is a similar story. Anytime we try doggy style, I have to hold my breath in order to not smell what’s wafting up from her behind, and it kills the mood almost completely. I can tolerate it every now and then, but there hasn’t been a time when this wasn’t an issue.

Ah, classic question. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve been asked about a stinky coochie, I’d be busting my britches wide open with nickels.

Let’s break this down for our young pal.

1. It’s good that he doesn’t smell the puss puss whilst sitting on the couch and whathaveyou. Nothing ruins a wonderful Saturday drive through the foothills of North Carolina like the stench of a rotten catcher’s mitt sitting between your lover’s legs. Granted, you have a sunroof so the queef air wafts around freely and is in and out of your nostrils in a flash. That flash can often be a bang, though.

2. Having a stinky puss in your mouth when you are hungover combined with a weak belly leads to vomit. If you vomit in her vagina, she will be upset. Trust me on this, fellas. Trust me. The last thing your lady wants is chunks of carrots cascading in her crevices.

3. If your lady leaves a smell on your fingers/dick/nose, use a harsher soap. Lava works great. It’s designed for mechanics and shit but the pumice pulverizes the smell of a pussy! Incredible.

In short, if your lady stinks, have her lie back in the sink and gently,,, gently now,,, wash her off with a mild soap that has a lavender smell. Lavender or tea tree oils. The tea tree oil is really good because it removes the smell and also helps with pussy dandruff.

Let me know how it goes.