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I Do Not Condone Joel Embiid Playing Pick Up Basketball With Random Vacationing Schlubs

Great. It would be some delightful news to hear the Sixers future shattered his shit playing a half court pick up game with a bunch of frumpy cube monkeys avoiding their wives on vacation. He’s obviously taking it easy and I wouldn’t even mind him going slam jam ham on everyone in sight, but still, it makes me nervous. You never know if one of these guys is coming off a tough day/week/life and want to make a name for themselves on the Internet. All it takes is one YMCA hero to play hero ball and end every Philadelphian’s future and/or reason for living.

Be smart. Pillage the beach bar, order your daily dose of Shirley Temples, and empty out all the grenadine on the island. Even so, though the top comment on Twitter is sadly accurate:

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However, playing vacation pick up is still less dangerous than going down the dark abyss Black people can swim, JoJo. Believe.

PS – And yes I see Pres getting his mantits all twisted over Embiid. If “Man bun is in the NBA just to get dunked on” rattles your cage you, my friend, are softer than baby shit. Only David Portnoy would try to distract his Celtics losing two straight in dismal fashion by calling out a player from the previous round for no reason at all. A brilliant move, really. Davey Goebbels, the Propaganda King.