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Publix Censors Summa Cum Laude Cake ('Cause Of The Cum Part)

When you specifically ask for some sweet, ropy, cum on your sheet cake & don’t get it, you can feel like a real sour puss.

That’s what happened to the Koscinski family in Charleston, SC this week as they tried to celebrate their son Jacob’s graduation. When they opened the box, there was no cum inside it anywhere. According to Cara Koscinski,

“We were all standing there waiting to see it, and when we opened it, it was a huge shock to all of us.”

No cum. Not even a little bit. Just ‘summa’ and ‘laude’ with none of the fun stuff. In Latin, Summa Cum Laude means ‘with highest praise/distinction’, and the ‘cum’ is the ‘with’ in that. This cake was totally cum-out. :-/

And that was after Cara Koscinski explained the ‘cum’ part to Publix after having the phrase rejected by the ordering site for being profane, (’cause ‘cum’).

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It was especially troubling for Jacob, the graduate who will be heading to Wingate University to become a doctor:

“The cake experience was kind of frustrating because I had to explain to my friends & family what that (CUM!) meant and they were giggling uncontrollably.”

Friend, there might be a lot more medical explaining about things like cum in your future. Anyways, have I mentioned cum in this blog yet? Cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum! Cummmmma cumma cumma cum-eeeel-eon. Cum.

Publix refunded them for the cake & the manager issued the family an apology. (Side note – The family were real troopers and still ate the cake despite lack of cum.)

One part I’ve really enjoyed about this story is that besides one or two unavoidable yet delightful cum puns, the rest of the conversation is just dozens of largely nonsensical political attacks on Publix and other commenters.

Think my buddy Ron here said it best.

I pity those that can’t stop and have a little fun, and just scoop up a big finger full of cum on the graduation cake of life. And as for the Latin, I like to think of it more as a fun message, from a friend with a thick Boston accent, to those who worked hardest all year… It’s Summa, you’ve graduated, cum loud. You earned it.

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