Yearly PSA: Fall Weddings Need To Be Banned From Society

I saw this floating around this morning with Capt. Cons on Barstool Breakfast and it’s about that time. It’s a yearly PSA that you simply shouldn’t have a fall wedding. I’ve talked about it before, but I’ll say it again. Your wedding is about keeping everyone else happy. If you play garbage music, have terrible food or a boring wedding, people will have a terrible time.

Weddings need to be scheduled during a certain time. Wedding season starts the week after the Kentucky Derby and ends in mid-August. Anything else and you’re an asshole. You may say ‘we picked our teams bye week’ or ‘well we just aren’t college football fans.’

WELL YOUR GUESTS ARE.

And guess what else? This may shock you. Not everyone likes the same goddamn college football team. So, sure, you picked the bye week for your team, but what happens if you’re a Notre Dame/Georgia fan and you’re invited to a wedding this weekend.

This is just using common sense. You want people enjoying your wedding and partying together. You don’t want your bride pissed that the entire groomsmen are circled around a phone trying to watch a 4th quarter drive. You won’t hear the end of it.

And as for some other rules from someone who has gone through a wedding:

- Let your parent pick their dance song, especially your mom

- If you have an outside wedding, make sure you have water and lemonade or tea

- Get all the toasts and dances done with right away

- Have a bar scoped out for the after party

- Do something with the groomsmen the morning of the wedding

- Open bar and open bar only