Tuesday Random Thoughts
1. Actor Dennis Quaid told Best Life Magazine that he battled “manorexia” in the mid 1990’s. To be honest I didn’t even know this existed? Is this the first confirmed case of a guy getting anorexia? I always thought it was better to be fat as a guy than real skinny. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to have sympathy for Quaid or not, but I don’t. Manorexia seems like a joke to me. I’m sure I’m offending a ton of people, but I’ve just never heard of a man being anorexic before. Tell me you have a drinking problem, drug problem or gambling problem and I’ll break out the violin. But Manorexia? Come on!
2. Edgerrin James signed with the Arizona Cardinals. May he rest in peace.
3. John Chaney retired yesterday. And for people like me who need to constantly come up with things to write about on a daily basis this is bad news. John Chaney was a walking time bomb. I’ll never forget watching him storm into John Calipari’s post game press conference while screaming "I WILL KILL YOU!!" until he was finally restrained by some people in the room. I’d pay 100 bucks to watch that fight unfold on pay per view. I looked all over for the video of that episode but couldn’t find it. The best part is watching John Calipari act like somebody was holding him back when in reality he wanted no part of Chaney. And can you blame him? Rule #1 in fighting is don’t get into fights with crazy people.
4. This next random thought is of a celebration that went bad. According to the Evening Star “Richard Parker had just been picked to play for a local snooker team when he decided to take off his clothes and walk through a hotel bar with a pool-table ball wedged between his buttocks. It was behavior which didn't find favor with a judge, who sent him to jail for 28 days. Clare Forsdike, prosecuting, said: “This case is one of the most revolting I've ever read about. “He goes to the pub and drinks 16 pints of lager and some vodka and when he is extremely drunk he drops his pants and trousers and urinates in the pocket of a pool table.” He then gets a ball, hovers over it while his bottom half was naked and maneuvered onto the ball so it disappeared into his buttocks. Then he walked to the bar and dropped it into a drip tray.”
Okay the next logical question is how much would it take for you to pull this stunt at the Beantown Pub? I think we’re looking at a 20 grand asking price. The weird thing is that I don’t feel like it is that easy to wedge a pool ball in your ass. I wonder how long he had to hover over the ball before it disappeared into his buttocks?
5. El Presidente has created a monster. The First Lady is spending at least 3 hours a night evaluating the chick March Madness brackets. In fact she is now referring to herself as a certified bracketologist. Keep in mind she just found out what a bracketologist was yesterday after seeing a picture of Joe Lunardi on ESPN and getting in a fight with me about whether "bracketologist" was a legitimate profession .
6. The Barstool Sports March Madness party just got much more interesting. It’s no longer cool to be fashionably late. Guess who plays at 12:40pm on Thursday? If you guessed the Superfans, you guessed right! If I was a BC fan I’d be having nightmares right now about Pacific. The line on this game is 8 but I guarantee it comes down to the wire. I'll bring the blue face paint. Yup, just another reason to join us at the Place for our 2nd annual March Madness party. And if you’re betting the games please do it through either www.vipsports.com/barstoolor www.thegreekcom.
7. What did Booker T just say and did anybody except him realize he said it?
8. Wow, the hits just keep on coming in 24. We’ve lost David Palmer, Michele Dessler, Edgar and Tony this season. Not to mention that Rudy went down swinging as well yesterday. Tony’s death was a total shocker. Maybe I’m just naive but I didn’t expect Henderson to pop out of his coma and kill Tony. At least not without a working central nervous system. I’m not sure how believable it was but frankly I don’t really care. If every show ends with a shocking death, I’ll keep watching. If I was in a 24 Death Pool right now, I think I’d take Curtis as the next guy to get killed. But really anybody who Jack has ever had more than a 30 second conversation with is at risk. If I had to choose who I’d want to get killed next I’d go with the guy from Side Out and his ridiculously huge goatee over Charles Logan. As a side note, I expected Zack Barnes to come off the top rope when Jack was choking him.
Reader Email
Email #1
The one reason why the colts didn’t re-sign Edgerrin James was because of horse face Peyton. Peyton talked the horsies into re-signing his two favorite targets Wayne and Harrison and said 'screw the rb they’re a dime an dozen we can get one anywhere”. Peyton you'll live to regret this move horse face
I think a better reason is because Peyton has a huge contract.
Email #2
I agree with you about Paulus being easier to hate than Reddick. But as far as him being "the prototypical Duke White guy" no one would have heard of if he didn't go to Duke, that's not true. This kid was a high school All_ American in two sports, some of the scouting services ranked him as the number one quarterback in the country. I don't like him, but I think he would have made a name for himself no matter what school or what sport he chose.
I totally disagree. At least this year. If Paulus didn’t play for Duke 99% of the America would have no idea who he was.
Email #3
Pres-
I know its full-on tourney time around barstool now, but real quick, I have to say something about the Japan-US WBC game yesterday afternoon. First of all, the reversed call against Japan on the sac fly was totally wrong. I think that was shitty and that basically the US didn't deserve to win that game. It's almost embarrassing to win that way and will be brought up every game the US wins going forward. Secondly, why the fuck couldn't Junior Griffey get it done in the bottom of the 9th? He had to let Arod come up and be the hero? I was wondering how I would feel about this. I was excited to finally be able to root for Jeter because I think he's the balls and would kill to have him on the Red Sox, but Arod, I didn't think I would be able to stomach. I was right; I completely despise the guy, still. And I was actually hoping for the US to win in extras rather than have ARod win in the way he did. Either way though, that game goes back to an awful call by the home plate umpire to overrule the 2nd base ump, and frankly, it looks real suspicious and I would be livid if I the Japanese team. Oh and your buddy Buzzsaw, he might be like your "Stan" from that Eminem song.
D from Canton
That was total horsecrap in the WBC game. I definitely don’t think it was on purpose, but it was a horrible call. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a call like that reversed. It was just a miserable decision and taints the entire tournament. As a side note, Sarahara Oh (The Japanese Manager) needs to have a little more emotion when challenging that call. He seemed to be saying it was a HR when he came out of the dugout.
Email #4
Prez,
Its tournament time! Like you said BC got a tough draw with Pacific in the first round, but there’s never been love lost between BC and myself so good riddance. I love UConn’s draw…Tennessee is the worst 2 seed I can remember and UNC is good but young, you never know what will happen this time of year but it looks good! But the real reason for this email is that I’m appealing to you for gambling advice. On St Patrick’s Day my friends and I will be bar hopping watching the games and to make the day more compelling I want to bet rounds of drinks on each of the games. The problem is there will be 3 of us and I can’t figure out how that works, does one person stay out of the bet for a game? Does one person bet double against the others? Or should we just stick to money to make it simpler? Any thoughts?
Brian in NYC
I like to stick to betting and losing cash. It makes things simple.
Email #5
I could hardly believe it, A-Rod gets a game winning hit in the WBC against Japan. This is a huge development as it must be the first time in his career when he has not choked with the pressure on. Granted it is the first game of the second round of the WBC, playing Japan, and not to Sox in the Playoffs at Fenway (where his invisible bat surely would had come out) but none the less, kudos A-Rod, you purple-lipped, hand-slapping, choke artist, metro sexual, you finally hit one that mattered. Sure, you'll blow it in the final round if the same situations comes up, but live it up for now, victory is fleeting...especially for you, the one know as "The Cooler".
Ando
Yeah, it was very surprising to see Arod come through. Although he didn’t exactly smoke the ball. I was hoping to see Varitek giving him little rabbit punches in the celebration.
Email #6
Hey Prez, have you seen the latest issue of Boston Sports Review (or report, whatever they call it). I NEVER read it, but I was walking by a stand and noticed the cover. It was a Boston over-rated/ under-rated issue. For the Celtics they listed Paul Pierce as OVER-RATED. The reasoning was his pouting and not leading the team. This has to show what a piece of crap the magazine is. Have they even paid attention for the last 5 weeks. Pierce has been the best player in the league, and he's been lauded all season long for his leadership and tenacious play. Who writes this? How can you not know about Pierce's super-human play. Even if the paper went to print several weeks ago, anyone who watches the Celtics knows they've been playing competitive basketball all season. BSR is a joke.
mc
Yup, I was well aware of this. I always go back and forth on whether to mention the BSR because I don’t like giving them any publicity. It’s almost beneath me to dignify their existence. Essentially the BSR has changed their direction. They know that it’s impossible to put out a monthly sports magazine and have it be remotely interesting. So they’ve taken the WEEI approach which is just say ridiculously stupid stuff and hope it causes controversy. They try and prey on the stupid. That article was a total joke. The guy who wrote it is a total fraud.
Email #7
Czar,
I heard a troubling rumor on the "streets" today that you are forgoing the masking tape nametags of last year's March Madness party for the fancy, "Hello My Name Is..." brand.
Well la-dee-da Mr. Gucci Loafers. Who do you think you are?
Bring back the masking tape. You can't see, but I am doing a slow clap for masking tape right now. I wanna see masking tape at The Place on Thursday.
In conclusion: Masking tape.
~ Ratty
Who said the masking tape was out? I made a big stink about how the masking tape was in for as long as the party is in existence and that includes this year.
Email #8
El Presidente,
As a UCLA alum, it is Thanksgiving redux. The Bruins were given a great seed in a fun bracket, possibly playing Memphis, who beat them earlier in the season, Kansas, in a match up of youth v. youth (including KU freshman Brandon Rush, who may try to atone for his weed-smoking brother Jaron that in '99 got suspended from the UCLA squad, returned to hit a nice game-winning shot and lead a comeback against #1 Stanford after assh*le Billy Packer said the game was over (I hate that guy) but then disappeared and is probably playing for the Bakersfield Barons or something. I actually drove high on tequila from my SF apartment to the airport after that game, located the team awaiting their flight home, and shook hands with the fellas. Ah, Jerome Moiso, I remember you too), and finally Gonzaga, who, not to get poetic, need to be shown who is the best in the west.
I am sure everyone wrote in about BC and I agree (more poetry, though ed from easton was e.e. cummings with all his lower case ramblings). I think I could have brought a list of teams into the john and in between a sh*it shower and shave done a better job seeding and picking. Air Force and George Mason, no, BC switched with NC, Tennessee lower, GW higher...
One thing I love about March Madness in a sick Catholic way is feeling the misery of new teams outside the ACC playing Duke and realizing they are battling the zebras. It becomes a national shame over a 3 week period. I hate those guys. You were right about the freshman, Paulus, he will be screamed at when they travel more than any player for three more years.
Stay cool... as Ice! http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/coolasice/
- Lil Jon Maldives
UCLA is one team that I don’t have a great read on. The Pac 10 was so bad it’s hard to tell what is going on there. I predicted great things from the Bruins at the beginning of the year primarily because I love Ben Howland and thought his style of defense would work great in the Pac 10. But in reality the only thing I know about the Bruins is that I took them in the first half line against Oregon -4 and Oregon closed the half on a 13-0 run to go into half time down by 3. That has sort of left a sour taste in my mouth.