March 8, 2006
Wednesday Random Thoughts
- Pinch-hitting for Dave who is out spreading the gospel of Barstool Sports. Dave wanted me to mention that anyone who wants to watch him bankrupt Barstool Sports should stop by the Place on March 16thfor our 3rd Annual March Madness Party. It goes from noon to the end of the last game of the day so be a man (or a woman), skip work or school and head down. My guess is that Dave will have to sell Barstool by the end of the first half of the first game.
- Texas Judge Lief Clark recently dismissed a motion in a bankruptcy hearing and was none too happy at having wasted his time on the proceeding. Just to emphasize how pissed he was he used a classic Billy Madison quote as a footnote. Remember- Don’t mess with Texas.
- David Ortiz proved once again how ridiculously nasty he is during any game that means anything. Papi blasted two home runs yesterday as the Dominican Republic beat up on the Venezuelans 11-5 in the World Baseball Classic. I can’t imagine how sick the Dominican lineup would be if Manny Ramirez and Vlad Guerrero were playing. The first seven spots in the DR’s lineup would include these guys- Papi, Ramirez, Guerrero, Albert Pujols, Adrian Beltre, Miguel Tejada and Alfonso Soriano. That’s just filthy. The American team also won. Mike Timlin picked up the victory in a 2-0 win. I’m not sold on the American team. Ken Griffey, Jr. batting third? Really, that’s the best the USA can do? I would choose anyone of the seven guys from the Dominican I listed above over Griffey. Jeter made an error while playing his usual below average shortstop.
- Hey, Barry Bonds didsteroids! Holy shit, who would have guessed it?
- Apparently, Britney Spears is pregnant with another one of Kevin Federline’s douchebag offspring. The thought of Federline reproducing makes my physically angry. I don’t want my future children to grow up in a world with any Federline-Spears children. In twenty years, if I read a story about Sean Federline and his douchebag sibling banging Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s kid I’m going to invent a time machine, go back to 2004 and strangle Federline with his cornrows.
- Tony Parker- I hate you.
- There is a teaser trailer for the new Rocky movie. This just can’t turn out good. Either Rocky dies in his final fight which is way too Million Dollar Baby or else he loses to some Rockyesque up-and-comer. There is no way he can win some championship belt fighting as a 65-year old. It just can’t happen. This movie could be an unmitigated disaster from start to finish. And I am 100% seeing it. There is no doubt. I’ll be in the theater the first day and I’ll strap on the snow gloves and box my brothers when I get home. I’m gunning for you, Brendan.
- The Globe recently asked five of their sportswriters whether or not the Super 8 hockey tournament should be discontinued with the state hockey tournament being divided into separate public school and parochial school tourneys. Obviously, everyone moaned about CM’s dominance and how it’s unfair that public schools have to compete against a school which can essentially recruit hockey players from all over. I see the argument about the disadvantage for the public schools but what about the other parochial schools? BC High is a massive high school with big money donors and a long tradition of athletic excellence and every year they’re cannon fodder for CM. The Prep, AC, Austin Prep, MC…the list goes on and on. If the other parochial schools can’t compete with CM, what makes public schools any different? The fact is that CM is heads-and-shoulders above everyone else. Public high schools should stop bitching about CM and start concentrating on keeping their local talent at home and the parochial schools should stop pissing and moaning and start out-recruiting the Knights. It’s that simple.
- Dave called me out in Random Thoughts yesterday about Ashley Von Boxmeer who has the potential to be a Jenny Finch quality pseudo-celebrity/ softball player. Challenge accepted and challenge won by me. Not only was Ashley more than happy to become our Myspace friend but there is a very good chance that she will soon grace the pages of Barstool Sports. This isn’t tee ball, El Pres, you have to give me something tougher than that. I’m the freakin’ czar of Myspace.
- I don’t want to bring Random Thoughts down but anyone who says that Imette St. Guillen was partially responsible for what happened to her is a fucking idiot. I’ve heard at least two major Boston radio personalities mention something along those lines the last few days and I almost drove off the road. Going out and having some drinks doesn’t give someone the right to rape and murder you. Barstool Sports may not exactly be at the top of N.O.W’s Christmas card list but we wholeheartedly support of a woman’s right to go out, get some drinks and blow off some steam without fear of a brutal attack. I just hope they catch the bastard and spread the word to the other inmates about what he did. O’Reilly will know what to do.
- Conference tournaments in college hoops are underway and I’ll be heading down to the ACC Tournament to watch the Superfans and my new favorite player, Tyler Hansbrough. If BC and UNC meet up in the semifinals, 99.9% of the Greensboro Coliseum will be rooting for the Tar Heels. The ACC Tournament is all about UNC. The arena is always at least 50% Tar Heels’ fans and the number only increases the longer UNC stays in the tourney. If any Superfans are planning to get serious and throw a big-time tailgate email me and I’ll stop by and drink your beer. You will get nothing in return other than the privilege of my sparkling conversational skills and your picture in Barstool.
- I’ll also be doing some writing and reporting from down in Greensboro. I’m going to try and post something a few times every day. I have a media credential and I have no shame. My fiancé wants me to do a Top 20 Douchebag List- ACC Tournament version. It may happen…after I’m back in Boston and out of the reach of Coach K’s henchmen.
- All the usual writing suspects at Barstool are working hard to provide solid daily content for the website. Usually by about noon, we’ve updated the site and added new stuff. But there are only so many of us so if anyone out there wants to take a crack at writing something, be our guest. First things first, you aren’t getting paid. But if you are a young or inexperienced writer, you will get published clips. And if you’re good, we’ll be looking for you to do more. A few things to remember if you are planning to submit something: Be original, creative, opinionated and concise. Articles shouldn’t be more than about 1200 words long. We’re not the Globe or Herald and we don’t want to be. Our readers want opinions not a rundown on yesterday’s spring training game. Send along any stories or questions to me- Chisholm@barstoolsports.com. And for the love of God, please use spell-check.
