Tuesday Random Thoughts
1. I’d like to start this edition of random thoughts by saying that taking the high road is over rated. And Frank Thomas proved this point by not responding to the fact that White Sox GM Kevin Williams ripped him a new asshole earlier in the week. In case you missed it this is what Kevin Williams said about The Big Hurt
"We don't miss him, by the way. If you go out there and ask any one of my players or staff members, we don't miss him. We don't miss his attitude. We don't miss the whining. We don't miss it. Good riddance. See you later. ”
Jerry has done everything over the course of 16 years to protect that man, to make accommodations for him, concessions for him. He loaned him money, at times, when he needed money," Williams said.
"If he was any kind of a man, he would quit talking about things in the paper and return a phone call or come knock on someone's door. If I had the kind of problems evidently he had with me, I would go knock on his door," he said.
I'm a general manager and I'm supposed to be above these things. But again, when is enough enough? He brought us to this point. So, OK, you want to play this game? You've got it. You got it. He's the Oakland A's problem right now. ... He better stay out of our business. He better stay out of White Sox business. ”
Now I have no doubt that everything Kevin Williams said is true. After all it’s a well known fact that Frank Thomas is one of the biggest jerks in the world. But even I felt bad for the Big Hurt after Williams was done with him and was rooting for him to defend himself. It’s like getting punched in the face at a bar and then having the guy who punched you grab your girlfriend’s ass and doing nothing about it. That’s essentially what happened here. Frank Thomas was raped and brutalized in public and did nothing to defend himself and that’s almost as bad as being the victim.
2. Jayson Stark had a headline article on ESPN.com yesterday about the Red Sox Spring Training Camp. It started like this.
“Miles away from the spring headquarters of Red Sox Nation, the former King of the Idiots was conducting his 73rd interview of the day on Sunday when his cell phone began to shake.
Beeeeeep.
"Look at this," said Johnny Damon, breaking into a long, how-perfect-is-this kind of laugh. "It's Kevin Millar."
Well, it was a text message from Millar, anyway. And, according to Damon, here's the best translation of that message we can pass along:
"There's nothing quite like our clubhouse in Boston."
This pissed me off. If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million times. I don’t care that Johnny Damon left the Red Sox. And I’m psyched that Kevin Millar is finally gone. But what I can’t stand is both of these guys still talking about Boston. I feel like Kevin Williams. He's the New York Yankee’s problem right now. ... He better stay out of our business. He better stay out of Red Sox business.” Don’t reminisce about the good old days because I don’t want to hear it. If you want to talk about Boston you should have stayed here. You chose to leave and you lost the right to talk about the team and the city. And Kevin Millar you just suck.
3. The big news coming out of the NFL Draft is that Vince Young is stupid. And not just any kind of stupid, we’re talking Forrest Gump stupid. Young supposedly scored a 6 on the Wonderlic test which by all accounts means a rock is smarter than Vince. So the next question becomes would you draft this ignoramus? Frankly, I think the Wonderlic test is over rated. There have been stupid athletes from the beginning of time. I bet if I went down the list of current NFL QB’s, I’d qualify half of them as dummies. Brett Favre never struck me as the brightest bulb in the bunch and he seemed to do okay. Furthermore, I’ve never been a believer that book smarts equates to athletic smarts. How is it possible that a rock head like Young can dominate all the way through college, but suddenly can’t succeed in the pros? Do book smarts equate with knowing how to manage a game, when to throw a ball out of bounds or how to look for your 3rd read? I don’t think so. I don’t think Vince Young will be a great pro but it has nothing to do with what is between his ears.
Breaking News: Supposedly Vince Young has taken the Wonderlic test again and got a 16 which now vaults him ahead of the chicken on the intelligence scale.
4.Olympian Shaun "Flying Tomato" White to CNBC on potential endorsements: "I think we got approached by a tomato company, but I’m not too interested in that stuff. I’m not a big fan of the nickname."
Dude, talk about getting greedy. This guy should be thanking his lucky starts he’s not getting beaten up on a daily basis and getting shoved in lockers. He has some balls to complain about the fact he has a nickname.
5. Sticking with the Olympics, I’d just like to congratulate Shizuka Arakawa for capturing Japan’s first ever figure skating gold medal.
6. Bode Miller just can’t keep his fat mouth shut long enough to stay out of random thoughts. Miller said the following to the AP Press yesterday.
"I just did it my way. I'm not a martyr, and I'm not a do-gooder. I just want to go out and rock. And man, I rocked here," It's been an awesome two weeks," "I got to party and socialize at an Olympic level." The expectations were other people's," "I'm comfortable with what I've accomplished, including at the Olympics.
Somebody just died at Nike and Bode Miller just made me puke for the 12th time this week.
7. There was an article in the Boston Herald and a story on PTI about how Theo Epstein supposedly agreed to go to a High School Prom with two chicks from Cape Elizabeth Maine who showed up to spring training with a huge sign that said Theo, will you go to the Prom with me?” Apparently Theo walked over to them and started chit chatting and before you know it, he accepted the girl’s invitation. If this story is a joke I’m confused on why it was on PTI. If it isn’t a joke than Theo is clearly looking to get laid. Nobody goes to a prom with a Maine chick and doesn’t end up having sex. That’s all people do in Maine. Play pool and have sex.
8. Since I consider myself a reality TV expert, I’d be remiss not to mention the finals of Dancing with the Stars from Monday Night. Drew Lachey won the competition which I have no problem with. I’m confident enough in my manhood to know a good dude dancer when I see one and he was pretty good. The problem was with the fact that Jerry Rice somehow finished ahead of Stacey Keebler for 2nd place ,which is flat out impossible. It ruined the whole show. Lachey’s victory will be stained forever just like when Russia beat the United States in hoops.
9. Police in Buffalo have gone on a "zero tolerance" parking ticket rampage. Unnamed Buffalo police sources, confirmed by city officials and control board members, have told The News that the ticketing blitz was prompted by police frustrations over their wages which, like those of other city workers, have been frozen despite a contract agreement made in 2003. Hmm, this sounds like Route 18 in Weymouth. I can say without a shadow of a doubt Weymouth Cops are the worst cops in MA. They pull you over for looking at them the wrong way.
10. This video of Adrianna Lima is okay. The music choice is just sappy enough where it made me think she was a very nice person and forced me to fall in love with her.
11. "A prank nearly proved fatal when a boy threw a cobra at a seven-year-old who had arrived for a relative’s funeral at Kampung Batu Menunggul, Pendang, last Friday. The snake landed on Muhamad Danial Ahmad Shukri and sank its fangs into his left knee."
It just goes to show that you don’t throw Cobra’s at people. I’ve been saying it for years.
12. This next video is of a crazy hockey fight. My favorite guy is the guy in the lab coat who appears out of nowhere mid way through. I'm pretty sure it is Dr. Nick from the Simpsons.
13. We got lots of links today. This next one is of NBA players and their wives or girlfriends. It’s always fun to see how the other side lives. And what we learn from this website is that Sarunas Jasikevicius pulls the best looking ass in the NBA since Thunder Dan Marley. And I’m calling bullshit on Lebron’s girlfriend being his girlfriend.
14. I haven’t seen a psyche out job like Annesa put on Beth in night’s Gauntlet since Mike Tyson fought Michael Spinks. Beth flat out pissed herself after Annesa freaked out 
when Beach Brawl was chosen. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen anything like it. At least Spinks showed up for the fight which is more than can be said for Beth. MTV needs to change the rules to punish quitters. Although truth be told, I’m not sure I would have showed up to fight Annesa either. That bitch is crazy.
Reader Email
Email #1
Yesterday you wrote "I simply love the first day of the tourney. The bottom-line is that if you don’t take a half a day on this Thursday and join us at The Place then you’re a pussy. No man should work on the first day of the tournament."
Someone seems to be forgetting when he was …..uhem….FORCED to spend the first weekend of the tourney away in a bed and breakfast somewhere in Vermont I think without a TV a few years ago! Just a humble reminder for you.
Hazy
It was a gift for my birthday from my EX girlfriend. I told her I didn’t want to go and we got in a big fight. I ended up going but keep in mind she went skiing both days while I sat at a bar and watched the games. We broke up shortly after the trip. She just didn’t get me.
Email #2
Prez -
Two things:
One - I am so glad the Olympics are over. I couldn't imagine more wasted time on television and in the papers. From Bode Miller being a selfish dick to Michelle Kwan only being in the Olympics to get a free flight to Italy to the USA and their embarrassing hockey team, I am officially going to start a petition to end the Olympics. They have no use in the world.
Two - Not that I was watching on purpose (although Stacey Keebler was on it), but did you catch Dancing With the Stars final episode last night? Jerry Rice actually said that if he won the trophy, it would be right up there with winning the Super Bowl.....that actually came out of his mouth. I'm sure Joe Montana, Ronnie Lott, and Bill Walsh all appreciated that quote.
JK
Jerry Rice is crazy. I’ve never heard anybody so happy to be on Dancing With the Stars. I think Drew Lachey told him the greatest receiver of all time to relax last night.
Email #3
El Presidente,
I know you have a problem with Roger Clemens still because you can’t let things go (ha) but did you hear he was pitching to his son and he brushed him back with one high and tight. That’s why I still love Roger for the same reason you were asking the stoolies when it was alright to lay off when playing a girlfriend/boyfriend or a relative in a gaming situation. Roger is an animal who would brush back his grandmother if she is holding a bat and steps to the plate. But I digress, all this Olympic and American Idol talk is making me insane so let’s talk about something of great importance like the NFL. I’m really torn on this next issue. On one hand I trust the Patriots to manage the salary cap/player personnel and I feel they are the best lately to put us in a situation to go deep in the playoffs every year but how do you let Adam Vinatieri go as NFL circles are indicating. I know he is just a kicker but remember the two kicks in Foxborough in the driving snow against Oakland (or the two in the SB wins for that matter)? The two against Oakland nobody else in the league makes - period! When does Pats Management suck it up and overpay on ONE or TWO players for the whole team’s reputation, the fans and the past service of a player? And it’s not like Adam sucks now. I seriously have no idea one way or the other on how I will feel when the decision goes down if they let him walk? Just think if they lose Adam and then sign the Colts drunken kicker who is in free agency for less money. I think the top five NE players as far as fan fare (in order) has to be Brady, Bruschi, Vinatieri, Brown and Seymour in my humble opinion. Of course a few years ago I would have thrown Ty Law in that mix but an aging cornerback is different from a kicker in his prime.
It has nothing to do with Pats management sucking it up and overpaying for one or two players. It’s all about spending your money wisely and getting the most bang for your buck. Whatever they decide to do with Vinatieri is fine by me.
Email #4
Prez,
So Vince Young sacked up and came thru with a 16 on his second Wonderlic attempt after posting a damn-near retarded SIX on Saturday. That's gotta be the most inspiring story since the 1980 Olympic Miracle on Ice. I'll refrain from any "that's only 6 more than me and I never got off the couch all weekend" jokes for now. But this must be most exciting to Vince's agent, Major Adams. Explain to Vince it’s customary for the agent to take 5% of the overall contract, then go ahead and take 25%. What's Vince gonna do....figure it out? I'll take the under on that.
Rob in Houston
Funny email. You know Rosenhaus was thinking the same thing when he heard that story.
Email #5
Czar,
Forget Madden, NHL, Tiger, Halo, etc.
Guitar Hero is by far, without question, the best video game of all time.
~ Ratty
Never heard of it.
Email #6
Prez,
Regarding the March Madness party, this is far and away the best Stool event and I had a blast last year.
Unfortunately I’m in Germany this year and can’t make it. I’ve never worked or gone to school since I was 10th grade on the first 2 days of the tourney and am bullshit I will be missing it this year. I’m sure you'll have a large turnout and someone else there to chant "Coppenrath sux"
Hmm, being in Germany is a borderline acceptable excuse.