Thursday Random Thoughts

Thursday Random Thoughts

1. Bubble Hockey Tournament tonight at 8 @ the Sports Depot. There are some great prizes for this event- free ski passes, weekend ski trips, basically awesome ski stuff. El Presidente may make an appearance if his team of doctors lets him out of the protective bubble. Don't shake his hand- avian flu is highly contagious.
2. Obviously, the big sports news of the day is the crushing US Curling loss. The Canadians took it to our boys, recording a crushing 5 during the 9th end. I don't care if everyone else who reads this thinks that curling is a joke- it has quickly become my favorite Winter Olympics sport. I guess that there is a curling center in Wayland and I am planning to devote the next three years of my life to making the US team for Vancouver. I will avenge our loss to the Canucks.
3. But as much as America, Jr., wants to burn down their log cabins to celebrate their big win over the USA in curling, it has to be a sad day up north when their men's hockey team bows out in the quarterfinals. When the Olympics opened up I figured that the Canadians would be absolutely unstoppable. Apparently not. I don't know how you don't make at least the semi-finals with that stacked squad but the happiest guy in the world today has to be Sidney Crosby. Without question, Canada could have used his explosiveness and youth.
4. Sticking with the Olympics, the USA men's hockey team sucked. I watched almost every minute, and while I don't know the first thing about hockey, I feel confident saying that the US team needs a major overhaul. I don't care if we send Catholic Memorial to the next Olympics- the US seriously needs to inject some youth and energy into the national team.
5. Back to important matters, Jessica Biel is ridiculously hot. Even when she's sweaty and going into the gym.
6. I couldn't be happier for the bunch of people who won the Powerball jackpot. I can't think of a worse job than working in a meat processing plant and I love cold cuts. My guess is that a 5-minute tour of a meat processing plant instantly turns you into a PETA radical. But I love the fact that the lottery was actually won by the people who really need it. I can't begrudge these slaughter house employees their payday- they definitely earned it. They ended up with about $15 million each. It sounds like a lot but my guess is that these guys will each blow through $10 million by early next week. You can't go from working in a meat processing plant to having $15 million and not make some financial mistakes- it's impossible. It's like being someone who never learned to walk and then entering the 100-meter dash at the Summer Olympics and winning in world record time.
7. I recently got a spam e-mail from Russian Love Match, and quite frankly, I was terrified. Here's the email:

With more than 25,000 people using russianlovematch.com to create genuine relationships, this online-dating phenomenon has been taken to a whole different level. With using this service, your readers can not only find an exotic Russian companion, but also become exposed to a new culture, lifestyle and possibly romantic experience.

 

Russian Love Match is dedicated to creating loving unions between Russian women and American men. They strive to provide quality service to all of their members. They abide by the highest ethical standards and conduct themselves in an honest, professional and socially responsible manner. They believe that respect for those they work with is the foundation of a productive relationship.

It all sounds good but why am I convinced that about a month after you end up with one of these Russian chicks that Jack Bauer is kicking down your door and breaking your fingers, one by one. I don't want to end up on the wrong end of a Bauer torture session.

8. Johnny Damon looks fat in pinstripes. He really does. I think he put on some lb's in the off-season. I know that every player looks out of shape after a few months off but Damon definitely looks chubby. Jason Giambi must have slipped him some of his patented weight-gain pills. That has to be it.

9. El Presidente's white-haired boyfriend, Taylor Hicks, killed during his first American Idol live performance. I have nothing else to add to this.

10. The time has come. I need to see Brokeback Mountain. I was talking to some of my cousin's friends and one had already seen it and another was going to see it last night. And we all had the same opinion- we didn't care. I could care less if Jake and Heath get it on. I really could. It's not like it's a shock at this point. Though I do think it would hysterical to show up to Brokeback and then throw an absolute fit when all the kissy-face starts just to see my fellow moviegoers' reactions, I am mature enough to go to the movie and see what all the fuss is about. I'm just hopeful that the success of a gay cowboy movie will lead to the release of a lesbian cowgirl movie starring Jessica Biel, Salma Hayek and Sasha Cohen.

11. I only received one email which is pretty freakin' pathetic. So, please give me something to write about. I'm sitting here with some saltines, groping for ideas. Throw me a bone. Email me at Chisholm@barstoolsports.com

12. Today's clip of the day is a collection of great scenes from Scrubs. All SFW. Enjoy.Scrubs Clips