Monday Random Thoughts

1. This is a HUGE week for the Stool. Not only do we have trivia on
Wednesday and Bubble hockey on Thursday, but we have our Cover Model Party
of the Year on Saturday Night at Game On! Let the countdown begin. The
Cover Model Party is a gigantic event for us. I can't state this strongly
enough. Simply huge. We need as many people to attend as humanly
possible. If you want to get your name put on a list please email us at
feedback@barstoolsports.com with your name and how many people you are
coming with. We want to give Stoolies and pretty girls first preference
just in case we sell it out. So if you know any hot chicks please tell
them about the party. Or better yet feel free to forward along this email
that we stole from Maxim and was sent out for there Maxim Superbowl Party.
If you just change around the words this email works for us too.

"Congratulations, you are receiving this email as personal confirmation
of your invitation to the exclusive Maxim (Barstool Cover Model) pre-Game
celebrity party. You were personally selected to be invited to this event,
and we expect you to arrive looking impressive and ready to party. Our theme
this year is a Maxim (Barstool) Rock Opera (so come dressed as that hot,
dirty rocker chick.)" This particular list is for women only," If you would
like to recommend another HOT Girlfriend, please have them submit a recent
picture and their full name to detroit@igetin.com. Please do not attempt to
bring any male accompaniment, they will not be admitted under any
circumstance. We have a zero tolerance policy."

A. No, this is a very exclusive party - so leave 'em at home . . . Unless
you're (sleeping with) Justin Timberlake, Jerry Thornton or Pharell (but I
think they're already on the list)."

2. Just to clarify the above email, these are the types of chicks we'd like
to invite to our Cover Model Party.

http://www.barstoolsports.com/barstool.php?article=721

3. The SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE reports the Warriors fired PR Manager Eric
Govan this after he "mistakenly forwarded an e-mail" to national media
outlets titled "Ghetto Prom," which featured 17 pictures of
African-Americans "dressed in outfits ranging from skin-tight to
skin-baring" and contained "comments about their appearances." Here is the
actual email. http://www.byroncrawford.com/2005/05/ghetto_prom_pic.html

My question is what do you do after you press the send button and realize
you f-cked up? I wonder if this guy just packed up his stuff and went
home. Somebody should invent an abort button that gives you 30 seconds to
pull back emails. As a side, I sort of feel bad for this guy. The
pictures are legitimately funny and I don't think you need to be racist to
feel this way. There would be nothing wrong with it if they just mixed in
some wacky white people instead of making it seem like only black people
wear outlandish prom costumes.

4. Today's lie of the day comes courtesy of Shevin Wiggins who beat out Fred
Taylor for the 1993 Mr. Football award in Florida. The Orlando Sentinel
caught up with Wiggins who now drives a UPS truck in Bradenton, FL where he
gets paid by the hour.

"It might sound a little crazy, but given the choice between being a
football star and delivering packages in a UPS truck with no air
conditioning and no music, Wiggins said he would choose the truck every
time. As a UPS man, I'm a regular old man," said Wiggins, 29. "And as a
football player, I stood out a little bit more. So I'm glad to be the UPS
man. It's better to be the UPS man. Not too much attention. It's a good
thing."

Due me a favor Shevin, tell me you don't like my necktie, but don't tell me
you'd rather be a UPS driver over an NFL football player"

6. I'll admit that I was shocked when I found out that Tom Brady was going
to do the coin toss at the Superbowl. I just couldn't believe that he'd
agree to do it. Why would he want to put himself through that agony? I
could barely stomach thinking about the Superbowl for these past two weeks
so I can't imagine what he was going through. I honestly thought I'd
suffer a reversal of fortune when I watched it. But per usual Brady came
out smelling like Roses. I'm not gay, but the guy is a freaking stud.
He almost had me believing that it didn't matter the Pats weren't in the
game because he's bigger than the Superbowl. Sure, Ben Rothlisberger may
have won the championship, but tomorrow he's going to wake up and still be
an ugly dude. He's never going to be as good looking or have as many rings
or be a legend like Tom Brady.

7. I thought the Superbowl was a pretty good game. But if I was the
Seahawks, I'd be bullsh-t about the refs. I truly think the Refs cost
Seattle the championship. It just seemed like it was one horrible call
after another going against Seattle. I didn't think the offensive pass
interference call against Seattle in the first half on the TD was a good
call. I didn't think the holding penalty against Seattle in the 4th
quarter on the play which netted the Seahawks a first and goal at the one
yard line was a good call. The illegal block below the waist penalty on
Hasselbeck after the interception was arguable the worst call in the history
of football. And finally giving Rothlisberger the time out instead of the
delay of game in the 4th quarter was a bad call. All of these penalties
came at pivotal times and really doomed the Seahawks. I thought Matt
Hasselbeck thoroughly outplayed Ben Rothlisberger and I thought the Seahawks
thoroughly outplayed the Steelers. I don't think the better team won last
night and I know the best team didn't win the superbowl this year. As a
side note, I love how Pittsburgh needs trick plays to score 97% of their
points.

8. If I bet on the King (Burger King Guy) to score a TD last night at -250,
I think I would have killed myself after watching the BK commercial in the
first quarter. What the hell was that? It wasn't even a football
commercial and the King barely showed his face. I mean you were never in it
from the second the commercial started until the second it was over. It
will have to go down as the worst prop bet of all time. Also, I hope whoever
created that commercial for Burger King gets fired.

9. Sticking with superbowl commercials, it always amazes me to see how many
crappy commercials there are every year. 97% of people who work at ad
agencies are crooks. They get paid millions of dollars to come up with
commercial ideas and they suck at it. I mean how can anybody think that
the Burger King commercial is good? You've got to be a complete idiot to
come up with this as your ad campaign. Sam from the Apprentice could have
come up with a better commercial in 10 minutes. I just don't get it.
The world would be a better place if Ad Agencies didn't exist to spend other
people's money. They are clueless. And I'm not just saying that because
most of them won't advertise with the Stool. But it does give you some
insight on how places like Mohegan Sun and Foxwoods can advertise in the
Improper Bostonian and not Barstool Sports.

10. One last random thought regarding Superbowl commercials. What is the
deal with the new Gillette razor? It has like 94 razors coming out of it
at all different angles. Frankly, I think the razor trend is starting to
get disturbing. The Mach 3 was good enough. We didn't need a battery
powered version and we certainly don't need this new razor which by all
accounts can shave by itself and give blow jobs. Pretty soon it's going to
take an entire pay check to buy one set of blades.

Reader Email

Email #1

Just for the record, Tim Russert is not a BC alumnus.

My bad. I figured when the Superfans went nuts because they showed him on
TV he must have gone there. I guess beggars can't be choosers. The
Superfans are just happy when all the seats are filled.

Email #2

Pres- Regarding no sex for a year if you do the Math, ($100,000.00/365 Days
in a year) it comes out to $273.97 a day. I think if every night I got a
stack of $20 = $280.00, before I went to bed, I would hope I would have the
self control, and remain master of my domain, but it's a tall task to ask.

-Ohio Kid

Exactly.

Email #3

I guarantee I can play hoop better than Allen Iverson can ski. Not just
because I am a decent skier, but because you don't see many
African-Americans on the ski slopes, just as you don't see many Caucasians
dunking at Rucker Park. So yea, tough argument to make Bonedust because
Allen Iverson is a much better athlete than I am, unless you count gorging
myself and Saturday afternoon couch marathons, as sports. I have no idea
where this is going so I'm done.

Kevin

I don't know where you're going either. Lets move on.

Email #4

El Presidente,

Did you see McNabb on Sportscenter? He had this to say when talking about
Owens - "Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb injected a race element into his
rift with Terrell Owens on Wednesday, saying the receiver's criticism
amounted to 'black-on-black crime'." What do you think of this statement
Prez? I don't know why this particular statement bothers me but it just
does. It's like saying it's o-kay if a black person murders or steals from
a white person but just don't do it to another brother. I can't wait until
I have the chance to utilize this when I don't get that big raise at work
"that's like white-on-white crime". And when they ask me what I mean I'm
going to tell them it's pretty obvious isn't it; rape and pillage against
other races and hook the white guy up with the corner office and the raise -
duh! Obviously, I'm kidding but if I did say something to this effect I
would be crucified. I'm just tired of the double standard. So thanks to
this new info from McNabb I am beginning to see things clearer; Donald
Driver held out and when Farve became all pissed that was o-kay because it
was 'black-on-white crime'. Or it was explained that Farve should shut-up
and stop interfering from keeping a brother from getting paid - per Michael
Irvin. So I say to McNabb, "nobody said athletes were smart and most of
them scored below a janitor on the 'Wonderlich test' so hoping your son
looks up to them as role models is like asking that bum at the bottom of the
interstate to be your son's mentor". I just insulted athletes, janitors and
bums in one sentence. Wow, it is fun to be stereotypical and prejudice. BTW
- you know Belichick well enough to know that he isn't going to say anything
about the Pats during his stint on the pre-game.

Andrew J. Bergeron
abergeron@uasc.com

It was black on black crime. And when T.O played for the 49'ers it was
black on white crime.

Email #5

El Prez, please tell Bonedust to do his homework before he questions how
many hockey rinks are in Ohio. I know of ten in a ten-mile radius. Let him
know he can meet me over at the rink in Charlestown any time and I'll show
him how an Ohio guy can play hockey. "Let's go."

Chuck Vegas

Okay. Bonedust, do your homework. There you go.