Tuesday Random Thoughts
1. According to SportsbyBrooks the ball that Doug Flutie dropkicked on New Year's Day will not make a trip to Canton because it's being held for ransom by an anonymous Pats fan. His demands as expressed through his lawyer is as follows:
1. Payment of ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND ($100,000.00) DOLLARS on delivery of the football.
2. A guarantee of eight (8) season tickets for 25 years in the end zone (preferably sections 142 or 143).
2a. The season tickets will be paid for annually by my client at the then going price for season tickets. The Patriots would not be expected to pay for the tickets.
3. Delivery by the Patriots to my client sometime in September, 2006, of a Tom Brady Patriots' football jersey signed by all the team members as of the beginning of the next football season.
Well thank god this Masshole is willing to pay for his season tickets. That could have been a real sticking point.
2. There is nothing I love more than a good old fashioned Lawrence Taylor story. LT raised some eyebrows at Prime 112 in Miami last week after he reached for a bottle from the wrong table and then approached Michael Jordan's table and shouted, "Ladies and gentleman, Michael Jordan!" An embarrassed Jordan put his head in his hands. After the incident when somebody asked LT what happened at the restaurant he responded by saying “What happened? I was set up like a motherf-cker” Badda boom!
3. Do people remember that dickhead kid from Pittsburgh who threw a tantrum when his teacher school made fun of him for wearing a John Elway shirt to class days before the Pittsburgh vs. Denver game? Well John Elway heard about the story and sent this kid a reclining massage chair with his signature on it. This doesn’t seem fair does it? This dork actually benefited from the situation but it is still very cool of Elway to do this. And this coming from a guy who hates Elway.
4. The secret service has discovered a major counterfeiting ring in California. Apparently Southern California street gangs teamed up with a Mexican counterfeit ring and a drug cartel to bring phony $100 bills into the United States — $7.5 million worth since last January alone. What was the major break in this case you ask? It was when one of the gang members visited a local strip club and paid a 20 year old stripper with four $100 bills for a three-hour lap dance, The bills looked real but smelled like vinegar and the stripper told her boss who called the authorities. I’ve got to tip my cap to the stripper in this case. Who has the energy to stand up never mind busting a counterfeiting ring after giving a THREE HOUR Lap dance? That’s got to be the world’s longest lap dance of all time right? A three hour tour, A three hour tour....
5. Texas A@M is upset with the Seattle Seahawks over the fact that the Seahawks commonly refer to their stadium and crowd as the “Home of the 12th Man”. In fact the Seahawks retired the #12 way back in 1984. The Aggies believe that they own this phrase and it’s an insult to them and their fans that another team is using it. The Aggies obviously need to relax. This is almost as dumb as Paris Hilton trying to copyright the phrase “that’s hot.” And the thing about it is that Texas A&M doesn’t even use the 12th man anymore. They stopped using real students on special teams after getting burned on kickoff returns one year. If this tradition was so important to the Aggies they shouldn’t have stopped doing it. In my opinion if anybody should be getting sued it should be the Aggies for misrepresenting themselves as the Home of the 12th man since they’re not anymore.
6. This next random thought is a public service announcement for anybody in the market for a new weed dealer. We have a great contact for you and he goes by the name of Nate Newton. Just ask him. Yup, Nate Newton was on Sportcenter the other day basically saying how he wants to be the greatest dope dealer of all time. When people think about weed, he wants them to think about him. And according to Nate he doesn’t just get average stuff either. It’s all high quality dope. I’m serious.
7. Brett Favre says he’s leaning towards retiring from football. I’m going to save everybody a ton of time and energy on this story. Brett Favre is 100% coming back next year no matter what he says.
8. I apologize to everybody who has been writing into random thoughts the past two days. Our email server has been down for 48 hours because of our stupid web hosting company. It should be back up and running today and we’ll try and respond to as much of the old email as possible. Sorry about that. I haven’t been ignoring it.
9. Good episode of 24 last night highlighted by Jack’s warning to Walt Cummings that “I know you’ve read my file” before he tells him that he’s going to cut his eyeballs out of his skull. I actually give Walt credit for hanging in there for a couple seconds before caving. But maybe the biggest benefit of last night’s show was when the First Lady asked me where Rudy came from and I quickly replied with “Division” This is my new answer for anything that I don’t know the answer to.
10. There is a thread right now on the Barstool Sports message board about which sport has the greatest athletes. I’d like to go one step further and address the question of who is the greatest athlete of all time. I think the most common answer is Jim Brown or Bo Jackson. But I think it may be somebody else all together and this next clip proves it. It is simply perfect.
http://www.mr- perfect.com/sports.html
Did he catch his own Hail Mary?
11. This next random thought fills my quota for the Superbowl. If I talk any more about it I'll surely suffer a reversal of fortune. Regardless this picture is pretty funny.
http://barstoolsports.com/barstool.php?article=717