Wednesday Random Thoughts
1. I’ll admit it. I can’t get enough of American Idol. I’m addicted to watching Simon cripple all the misfits with his insults. And here is the thing about Simon. He never says the same thing twice. Somehow he always manages to come up with a new and equally punishing insult. I don’t think people realize just how brilliant he is. The show flat out wouldn’t work without him. Last night he told a guy he should become a girl, another guy that he is a rat and said the stage wasn’t big enough for a fat girl. I mean he’s ruthless. I feel guilty that I love him so much. He is literally ruining people’s lives in there. Every year I steal a few quotes from him and add them to my repertoire. Yesterday it was “you’re appalling with a capital A”
2. Everybody tip a 40 tonight. Ruthie got eliminated from the Gauntlet on Monday by Beth. Yes, this is a bigger upset than Buster Douglas knocking out Tyson.
3. So Eric Mangini took the Jets job. I can’t blame him. 5 years for 10 million, who wouldn’t go? But do you think the Jets were a bit desperate here? I mean the guy was a coordinator for 1 year. Sure the Pats defense was great by the end of the year but Belichick was the driving force behind that. I feel like the Jets would have settled for our guy who runs out and picks up the tee after kickoffs as long as he worked for us.
4. As much as I despise Pittsburgh Steelers fans I do kind of respect them. You can say whatever you want about Steelers fans, but they are passionate people who really care about the team. This next story kind of illustrates that fact. “Terry O'Neill, 50, of Pittsburgh, was watching the game at a bar and had a heart attack seconds after Jerome Bettis fumbled trying to score from the 2-yard line late in the fourth quarter. O'Neill said Bettis is his hero.
"I wasn't upset that the Steelers might lose," he told the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review. "I was upset because I didn't want to see him end his career like that. A guy like that deserves better. I guess it was a little too much for me to handle." O'Neill, who was recovering at a hospital, credits two firefighters with saving him. "The Steelers won the game and I'm still alive, so I guess I'm doing pretty good," he said.
Like I said the Steelers have passionate fans. You can’t take that away from them.
5. Somebody forwarded me a link from Bill Simmons yesterday. Apparently Isaiah Thomas hates Simmons guts for stuff that Simmons wrote about him.
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/blog/index?name=simmons
The thing that caught my eye was the last line of the article in which Simmons writes “You're a public figure. When you screw up, people are going to write about it. Get over yourself.” I cringed when I read this. The reason is because Simmons doesn’t practice what he preaches. Simmons freaks out whenever anybody writes anything bad about him. I know this from first hand experience. What’s the difference? I think Simmons need to head his own advice and get over himself.
6. Kate Beckinsale told the Hollywood Star that she thinks she has a fat ass. Specifically she said “"I have days when I feel great, and I have days when my ass won't fit in my jeans and I won't leave the house. I guess when you become an actress you hope those fat ass days will go away, but of course they don't." My question is does the fact that Beckinsale thinks she has a fat ass make other women want to kill themselves?
7. It has been awhile since we had a solid game to kill some time at work. And the beauty of this one is it seems like you’re actually typing really fast and getting some work done.
http://frenzy.morpheme.co.uk/frenzy/index.jsp?gameId=0
Reader Email
Email #1
Czar David,
Please settle something: Annie's Mac N Cheese, good or bad? You know the kind, its organic, comes in the purple box.
I think it’s delicious, and I don't know anyone who doesn't like it. But a crazy friend of mine, for the sake of discussion let's call her "_antonRules", told me she had it tonight and thought it was the most disgusting thing she'd ever eaten.
I consider myself a connoisseur of fine Mac n cheeses, so this statement troubled me greatly. What's your take?
PS: I am watching "Two For The Money" on DVD Tuesday night...good lord its going to be awful.
~ Ratty
Let’s get one thing straight about El Presidente. I don’t change my life habits for anybody or anything. I only eat Kraft Mac N Cheese. I’ve been eating it my whole life and I’m not changing. Ever. Same goes for virtually every single product I use in my life it doesn’t matter whether it’s soap, toilet paper, shampoo or Mac N Cheese. I’m one of those guys that if you get me as a customer you have me for life. This is the long way of saying I’ve never tried Annie’s Mac N Cheese and I don’t plan on trying it anytime soon. Some may say I’m stubborn.
Email #2
I completely understand your hatred for Steeler fans. I unfortunately had to live with one all through college and I have never met more of a sore loser. But, we lived together in South Carolina where their fans are much, much worse. The Panthers don't even have real fans until it's play-off time. As soon as they make it to the post-season everybody's on the bandwagon as if they had been cheering them on from the beginning. The Panthers suck and the fact that they are still in the game and we are not kills me. Nothing tasted as sweet as our victory over the Panthers two years ago when I was living down there and was the only Pats fan in the room. We'll be back next season and ready to kick ass from game 1.
Noelle the ex-South Carolinian
Wow, I’m shocked by this email. I didn’t know that Noelle the ex South Carolinian and friend of the First Lady had the capacity to talk football like this. I will certainly have to spend more time talking with you next time I’ll be sure to try and put on my funny shoes.
Email #3
I'm writing this e-mail after only reading RT#2. I'm disappointed!! How can you tell us about the Piston's pornographic calendar, and not have a link??? Your better than that. You've trained us to well, with those FSU Girls!!!
-Ohio Kid
I agree with you. This was a dumb move by me. I’ve wasted the last half an hour trying to find the link and couldn’t find it. I guess this random thought will just have to go down as a failure.
Email #4
El Pres
I didn't think I'd see the day under this team when they beat themselves in a playoff game like that. I've really been trying not to make excuses for the loss, but it is tough when they almost totally dominate a game, except for maybe 12 downs. Either way, the pass int. on Sante was bullshit and that's documented, but is there anyone else who thought that the Champ Bailey pick should have been ruled a fumble and a touchback after a savage Ben Watson ran a f*cking top-flight cornerback down from across the field and punched the ball out (that is crazy by the way). I don't know, I was fired up and drunk at that point and haven't seen a replay yet, but my buddies and I were pretty convinced that should have been the call. A fumble out of the end zone - is that the rule? Either way, I think all playoff games should be officiated by "Baby-T" Hochuli and this weekend's games pretty much make that an undisputable fact. The NFL should consider this next year when making the play-off schedule. Anyways, I think it is time to start getting fired up for the World Baseball Classic.
D from Canton
How could you have not seen a replay of the Watson play yet? Are you boycotting TV? That’s the only possible explanation. Regardless here is a picture of Ed Hochuli doing what he does best and that is getting huge.
Email #5
I agree it's tough to see a hobbit running CTU. However it was clear a change had to be made when Bill Buchanan wanted to put Chloe in lockup, but she talked him out of it. It was exactly like Tony Dungy letting Peyton talk him out of punting on 4th & short. Buchanan is the Tony Dungy of CTU directors it's clear to everyone except the Colts that you can't win with that type of leader. Of course, Peyton wishes he had half as much guts as Chloe, but that's another story entirely.
Jason, Melrose
Funny email. I wish we had a prize to give you or something. I can give you a Stoolie party T shirt if you want one? Send me an email and I’ll send it out.
Email #6
Don't forget the Hobbit was first a Goonie.
True. But that was so long ago that I don’t think “Goonies” the second I see him.
Email #7
Prez,
Sorry that the Pats blew the game on Sunday but the playoffs go on…and Seattle hasn’t been eliminated! Not even a mention of the game over two days? It was the ugliest of the four last weekend but it was an actual NFL game, with referees, a crowd, television air time, the whole deal! Now that we’re matching up with Steve “maybe I’m on steroids?” Smith it should be a great game, and maybe that one will get a mention. Our chances were hurt a bit when our RT Locklear was put in jail over the weekend for domestic abuse, he grabbed his girlfriend’s throat or something. Whatever, I’m sure he was defending himself. Oh ya, UConn is looking great and BC looks like they’d finish 10th if they stayed in the Big East! See Prez? Even if your team is on hard times you can still laugh at BC.
Brian in NYC
Yeah I agree nobody is talking too much about that game. Not only was it a pretty boring game but there was no controversy. Regardless, I see no way in hell the Seahawks win the Superbowl. But I guess I wouldn’t mind if they did. I just don’t want it to be Pittsburgh. I sort of hate Holmgrin though. I’m sure if he wasn’t exiled in Seattle I’d despise his ass.
Email #8
Greetings Prez. Here's the thing. The Pats did not play well on Saturday night, but it seemed like the Refs were way too involved. In fact, both AFC games the refs were way too involved (hey Indy, safety anyone?) I/you/we have all been watching the NFC games too, and on that side of the league, they seem to be doing a pretty decent job officiating. I mean, they haven't been perfect but none of it seemed biased or just outright crazy. My most paranoid friend (the same one who thinks John Henry is dismantling the Sox "Marlin Style") Thinks the Mob, The League, And the Refs are in on a huge conspiracy to fix games(Pats 8pt dogs? EVERYONE took them. Vegas scored BIG). I don't go that far, but I am seriously concerned about the amount of "influence" over who wins these referees are having. It doesn't even make sense that they could have looked at some of those replays and still come out with those calls. If the NFC games can get called well by the refs, why not the AFC games as well? Maybe we could have the NFC games on Saturday, then fly those Refs to where the AFC games are on Sunday. How can our AFC Refs suck so much more than the NFC refs? Could it be an accident??? Sincerely, Phillipe Aruba
The Refs clearly hurt the Pats, but I don’t think any of it is biased. Regardless the Pats lost that game because of their turnovers and not the refs.
Email #9
The woman and I have less trouble picking a movie than A-Fraud does deciding whether he will play for the US or the Dominican Republic, and believe me if it wasn't for Netflix I doubt we'd ever watch any movies together. I predict the team smart enough to give A-Fraud a free Prada handbag will lock up his services. Not only is the man without a country, last I checked he's still without a championship. Could it be possible that he's getting rejected by both teams and trying to make it look like they both want him? My sleeper team is Mexico. They take the gold or first place or whatever the winner gets in this glorified grapefruit league.
- Matty V.
Arod is unreal. Whoever he has advising him on media relations should be fired and executed. Arod may be the king of doing the most obnoxious things that aren’t actual crimes.
Email #10
El Presidente,
SORRY THIS IS LONG BUT A MUST READ STOOLIES. I’m with you on this feeling sick about the Pats loss. I would have preferred we got blown out like the Giants so there was no doubt and I could just go about my off-season of breaking down game film and scouting the draft/free agency market. You keep saying that the refs didn’t come into play in this game and the turnovers caused our demise. I agree the turnovers were huge but you never know what kind of an impact those calls have on a players psyche during a game and remember we were getting ready to take the lead on several of those occasions and we were still only down ten in the third quarter. I still say the refs gave Denver 17 points and that’s just hard to stomach when trying to 3-peat. Read this:
“I think I would like to ask the zebras of this league one question: When will you learn how to call pass interference? It was a disgraceful weekend for PI calls. The 39-yard interference call against Asante Samuel handed the Broncos a 7-3 lead in the second quarter. I think I talked to one league official, two head coaches, a quarterback, a GM on as the day progressed Sunday, and there was one common theme: The officials are making too many mistakes for this time of year. The one NO ONE could believe was the Asante Samuel interference on Ashley Lelie”. As the GM said: "Don't tell me that didn't have a big part in the outcome of the game because the game ended up not being close. It was huge!'' – Peter King, SI
“Nice weekend of officiating in the NFL. Taking nothing away from Denver, referee Jeff Triplette and his crew had entirely too much to do with the outcome of the Patriots-Broncos game. And while there was no definitive replay that showed Bailey fumbling through the end zone for a Patriots touchback on his 100-yard interception return, logic says from where his body was positioned at the time he fumbled -- with his front foot almost at the pylon -- it would have been highly unlikely that the ball could have avoided breaking the plane of the goal over the pylon.” – Don Banks, SI
I believe that was my comment exactly about Bailey’s fumble. He was carrying the ball in his inside hand and his foot hit the pylon a second after the hit, there is no way the ball could have gone out of bounds – impossible. Peyton coming across as an ass is classic.
“We've long believed that Colts quarterback Peyton Manning is a big, bolted-neck phony. He says and does all the right things, for the most part, when the cameras are on and folks are watching. But it's our opinion that, in his heart, he's a spoiled brat who thinks he's better than everyone else. Actually it was a slam on both the blockers and the coaching staff, since the coaches have a pretty big role in keeping the defenders out of the quarterback's face”. "This is on a new level," one league insider said. "This guy is a selfish SOB." – PFT “People are always complaining about large corporations. But when they do something positive they should be commended. Take MasterCard for example. Sunday night, after the Colts' loss, it started running a new Peyton Manning "D-CAF" spot showing various bloopers he made during filming. And then the ad closes with the line: "Not being perfect … priceless." Absolutely. Awesome. The fact that they had that cued up waiting for the Colts to lose, well … feel free to raise my interest rate to 29.99 percent, MasterCard. I'll pay anything you ask.” – DJ Gallo
Andrew J. Bergeron
I agree with what you say in this email. And god knows me and you are two diehard Pats fans who are taking the loss equally hard. I don’t deny that the refs hurt the Patriots cause. But at the same time I just can’t put any of the blame on them because of how badly we played. Yes, the Champ Baily fumble had to go out of the back of the end zone. But I can understand how they didn’t reverse it and the bottom-line is that Brady threw the interception a play after David Givens dropped a TD. We fumbled twice on special teams. We deserved to lose with or without the refs getting involved.
Email #11
Just a few comments on the Pats fans reactions to the game.
How exactly could the Pats clearly be the better team? They lost to the Broncos twice this year, in a blowout by 8 and by two touchdowns. The Pats scored 13 points. Read that again. That’s with no bad calls against the offence. 13 points. How many games does that win in the playoffs? I think you could at least fix your math and say the Pats would win this game "98 out of 100 times".
Buzzsaw says "One or two fewer turnovers and the Pats easily win this game”?!! The Pats have made a living during their playoff run not turning the ball over and exploiting mistakes by the other team. I think they were +19 or +20 during that time. Did they not deserve to win those games because the other team turned the ball over? How many Teddy B. interceptions did you see over the last few years. How many great plays did Troy Brown make on special teams. The whole "we didn’t play our game" thing is really lame. I think Peyton said something like that too. "We are the better team, I usually have 5TD's and 450 yards against the Texans". The Pats were sloppy with the ball all year, they had four fumbles against the Jags just last week, and it hurt them.
-PJ
Okay, let’s throw out the first game because that had nothing to do with anything. It almost cripples your email that you’d even bring up the first game. The Pats were terrible at that point in the season. They couldn’t stop the run or pass. They sucked. I know you know that. As far as the turnovers, here is the difference. With the exception of the Champ Baily interception which was a great play by the Broncos everything else was unforced or pure luck. Dropped punts, kickers causing fumbles, guys dropping the ball before getting hit. It was just one thing after another. That’s the difference. And unlike Peyton Manning and the Colts the Pats never do that. It was an aberration.
Email #12
Prez,
I'm still smarting after this weekend's debacle in Denver too. What makes it even worse is that I drafted that donkey Peyton Manning in a NFL playoffs fantasy pool and, for the first time ever, I was actually rooting for him. I don't mean to discount the defensive job that the Steelers did, they were real impressive, but Peyton got the ball back with about 2:30 or so to go in the game, down by 3 points, with all 3 timeouts. He proceeded to throw 2 incompletions and got sacked twice including on 4th down... not exactly the stuff of legendary QB's. What makes it even worse than that is that I have in-laws in Pittsburgh who called after that game was over. I obviously didn't answer, but I could hear them chanting "Here we go Steelers, here we go" when my wife picked up the phone. Absolute torture.
About the Pats game, I think people in general have to lay off this whole "Denver didn't do anything to win" and "the Pats just gave them the game" stuff. I know that Denver didn't exactly look like a Super Bowl Champ, and the vaunted Denver rushing attack looked pretty underwhelming against the Pats defense, and they did get a big assist from the refs, but Brady didn't get flushed out of the pocket and throw that horrible, horrible pass to Troy Brown just for the hell of it. The fact is, he was under a lot of pressure all night and never looked quite right. It was a good defensive game plan by the Broncos. And Champ Bailey made a good play to pick that ball off run it almost all the way back to set up the game-changing TD. Last year, we all sang Rodney Harrison's praises for doing the same thing in the AFC Championship game against Roethlisberger (only he didn't get caught from behind by a TE), and now when it happens to the Pats, it seems like we give the defense no credit.
I'm not saying that I think the Pats couldn’t have won the game. I think that if they played again this weekend, they'd win, but you have to give Bailey and the Denver defense their due. They were able to force some huge mistakes. And the Pats clearly weren't the best team on the field that night because the best team doesn't turn it over 5 times.
Typical Steelers fans. They wouldn’t have the balls to pull that stunt if they were playing us this week. In regards to Denver, Champ Baily made a nice play on the interception. Brady was pressured into a mistake. Other than that they did nothing. I’m not sure how you can say otherwise. They couldn’t run. They couldn’t pass. They couldn’t stop us unless we turned it over. It was a joke.
Email #13
Pres-
Don’t worry about all of the haters, your right about the grammor and spelling thing. People should just except the fact that it means nothing for this colum. It's about sports, not 3rd grade class. I'd tell them all to phuck themselves. Please note the use of terrible gramer adn spelling in this emale.
Keep righting
Vrb
W. Scott Vrba
Thanks man.
Email #14
Yo El,
Everybody is into comparisons nowadays, so I figured I'd chime in with one. Instead of everyone comparing Manning to Brady, I think that he should be compared with another Q.B. that he is much more similar to. Think about it. The happy feet, the overthrows, the sacks, the interceptions in big spots, the inability to throw the short pass, the lack of pocket presence, the inability to make quick coherent decisions when under pressure, the footwork resembling an elephant on a diving board....there is only one man that Peyton should be compared to, and that is the one and only Duuhhhhhrew Bledsoe. I could also make the argument that Duhhrew has had a better career, because he led one team to a Super Bowl (which he likely would've won had it not been for Desmond Howard) which had half the talent that this Colts edition has, ( absolutely no running game, and the receiving corps. of Brisby, Timpson, Glenn, and Jefferson) and also helped a second team to another bowl albeit with the minor contribution of 1 touchdown pass in the championship game, but that equals the grand total of touchdown passes Manning has in the same game, and Bledsoe was on the bench for 3 months prior. We are talking about a fraudulent bum here, and it's time these talking heads stopped licking his balls. Tee Martin won a national title the year after this bum graduated. Tee Fucking Martin! I think I just saw him shining shoes at South Station yesterday. The best two Q.B.s in the league right now besides the legend himself, are Delhomme and Rottenburger. Delhomme's performance with one wide receiver and no running game is truly remarkable, and his super bowl performance against the pats was no joke. Big Ben deserves credit because the only time he loses is when he plays the pats, and he seems like a great leader.
One final note. The dynasty will begin again next year, and it will truly be scary. Can you imagine a healthy Harrison coming back to this already stifling defense?! Brady and the offense will be pissed, and it all adds up to an undefeated season. Yes, you heard it here first, the first 19-0 season in the history of the world.
ED FROM EASTON (now living in Stoughton)
Did you read my fake Peyton Manning interview? I feel like you just said exactly what I said.
Email #15
El Prez
I love the fact you called the column black Monday on Martin Luther King Day. It was very ironic in the real sense of the word, and not in the alanis morrisette way!
Keep up the good work!
Stone
Ha! I didn’t even think of that. Sometimes brilliance just runs so deep that you can’t control it.